12 Things You Should Never, Ever Say to a School Counselor

The School Counselor Kind

I became inspired to write this post after reading an article from Upworthy entitled, “12 Things You Should Never, Ever Say to Teachers.” As an elementary school counselor, I’ve heard some whacky things from people who don’t really understand what my job is. Some are infuriating, some are laughable, and some are just plain weird. Anyway, here’s my list. I apologize ahead of time for the “snarkiness” in some of my responses. It’s not meant to offend anyone; it’s meant to educate and vent a little, in a humorous way. I hope some of you can relate! 🙂

snarky comments

1. “You’re that mushy feelings lady, right?”

Wrong. There may be some school counselors who are mushy, but I’m not one of them. Yes, I teach about feelings, a lot. This doesn’t make me mushy. This makes me a teacher of social-emotional skills that are crucial for your child’s/student’s development…

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GOALS PSYCHOLOGY

Goals play an important role in our life, it has powerful positive effect on our brain. It has to be taught from the very beginning; such as why there is a need to make goals, what are goals, what we achieve by making them, how to pursue them and how ultimately we achieve them. 

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The mere awareness that we have goal to look forward too or to achieve, gives meaning to life, which affects the overall well-being of the person. It drives us to a conclusion that goals gives a sense of purpose to life and is linked with well-being. When we design goals we see ourselves in a new light, we attach self-worth to our identity, of who we are and what we can do/achieve. On the contrary, people with no goals to pursue, have lack of appreciation for themselves and constantly feel emptiness and dissatisfaction, which lead to depression and other psychological problems. As human beings we all seek control, optimism, appreciation, excitement and avoidance of pain. And we face frustration, dissatisfaction, guilt, despair and anger when we don’t have meaningful life.

We are designed in such a way that we seek purpose of our existence and meaningfulness in our life. People who show more distress, who are dissatisfied with life, are not goal oriented. This is backed by many researches: 

People with lower levels of purpose in life, for instance, have greater levels of psychological distress, more substance-related problems, and more disruptive behaviour. They also have lower levels of life satisfaction, self-esteem, positive affect and physical functioning (King & Hicks, 2013; Park, Park, & Peterson, 2010; Steger, 2013; Vos, 2016).

(PDF) The psychology of goals: A…. Available from: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324389112_The_psychology_of_goals_A_practice-friendly_review [accessed Jul 24 2018].

The whole journey from making goals and progressing on them, gives people a sense of achievement, which we seek our entire life. 

With every achievement, or progress that we make to achieve our goals lifts our mood and helps us in staying motivated. This all happens due to increase in dopamine levels in the brain which is linked to mood and gives a sense of pleasure.

Make your life’s journey a meaningful one, one which has goals, something to look forward to everyday. Even the small steps taken towards goals are rewarding and gives a hope, a sense of achievement. 

 

 

SIMPLE PLEASURES OF LIFE

Life is too short to waste. enjoying every bit of it is what we should focus on. Being MINDFUL will certainly help in bringing back the simple joys in life.

Love cooking Chinese dishes (my recipe of course). Family loves it too, Thank God for that.IMG_3242

Yes, a typical foodie, which is enforced by the family as well, love eating CHAPPALI KABAB, DAAL AND PLAIN RICE. 

The banknote is hubby’s idea of displaying the, which currently don’t have a better display area. 

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After lots of routine work, which include cooking of course, give yourself a break. And I truly love nature. Hitting the street for a long drive, hoping to see some waterfalls, we went out on long drive. Finally, the clouds have decided to show up after a long hot season and it seems they are here to stay for sometime, thankfully.

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Headed to Wadi Shees, where we wanted to go since long and finally en route to that place. Weather was promising, lovely scenes on the way, while the not so little one kept on demanding to let him go mountain climbing, which was not possible at that moment.

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After following the instructions from the good old GPS reached to Wadi Shees and manged to see waterfalls. It was a pleasure to see the fishes in the collected water and small swimming bugs.

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ICY cold water. The feeling of the cold water touching your foot and the moment you wash your face you come to realize what you were missing all the while.

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We ended up on Fujairah Beach, where we had our late lunch and freshened ourselves by relaxing at the beach. The Not So Little one didn’t get to climb the mountain, rather got a chance to dip in the open sea.

Day out always turns to be interesting when it is unplanned and out of the blue. Woke up early morning on the weekend, which happens every weekend, and surprisingly decided to get ready and leave for a day out. We saw a number of desert bikes, biking in he dunes, people making camp fire and relaxing under the cloudy sky. Winter is so welcomed here.

Happiness is You recieve Your Book Order


Recieved my order for books. 

Enid Blyton always bring childhood memories. When I used to read one book after the other and engrossed in imagination. 

Now its my kids turn to read and be on the imagination train. 

It’s Ramadan is for kids. As the raadan is right around the corner and I will give it to kids as ramadan gift.

The other two books are for me MILK AND HONEY, AN UNSUITABLE BOY. 

Will read them soon. 

NO POST SINCE LONG TIME

Yes, I was completely out of writing any post. 

Workload plus another job in pipeline, this all kept me busy for good.

Finally settled in new city and new workplace and a complete change in everyone life at home. And now I begin. 

We should show gratitude in whatever we get and in whatever we have. Thankfulness brings abundance in things that we have currently. 

Patience is the key to success. It really is!

Leave no space for hatred in your life, accept what you have and work hard intelligently for your satisfaction not in terms of money, as money never brings happiness. 

Having said so remember those who are around you.

Stay blessed everyone and happy!

IMPROVE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND WELL-BEING

Mental health encompasses the emotional resilience that enables us to enjoy life and to survive pain, disappointment and sadness, and an underlying belief in our own, and others’ dignity and worth. It also allows us to engage productively in and contribute to society or our community.

There are skills and practices a student can learn to improve mental wellness, and as time pass it turn into habits. Following are few tips to instill mental wellness in you:

MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE: Students with positive attitudes are apt to be happier, more successful and found to be more focused. In general, positive thoughts and positive attitude help create a better perspective on circumstances or events in day to day life and in turn help in meeting personal and educational goals.

DEVELOP EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE: Being mentally healthy doesn’t mean never going through bad times or experiencing emotional problems. Just as physically healthy people are able to bounce back from illness, people with good emotional health are better able to bounce back from adversity, trauma, and stress. This ability is called resilience.

CREATING POSITIVES FROM NEGATIVE: A crisis – no matter how big or small – can seem monumental in a student’s life. Take crisis situation as an opportunity. Creative problem solving, like listing the positive things that can result from the problems a student is facing, can expand their options and help to cope and recover from problems.

REMEMBER TO LAUGH: Humor has been proven to be a great stress reducer. Laughing improves physical and mental health, as humor activates the brain’s reward and pleasure centers, generating emotions and relaxing the mind.

MENTAL HEALTH OF STUDENTS

Being a student can be stressful enough, but trying to juggle school work and other responsibilities while experiencing stressful life event can drag you down. It is seen that students can work through many challenges and still perform well in school. It is normal for students to feel stress and anxiety from time to time. However, if these feelings persist it has a devastating effect on students’ performance. Anxiety and stress may also manifest themselves physically, causing students to suffer from nausea, rapid heartbeat, dizziness and chest pain.

This year for World Mental Health Day, which is celebrated each year on 10th of October, the World Health Organization and the World Federation for Mental Health have chosen “Psychological First Aid” as this year’s theme.

When you feel anxious, talking about it is a good start. You should know you are feeling anxious because you are confused, self-doubting because of some past event, or having negative beliefs.

Develop healthy sleep habits, be mindful of your meals, have a creative outlet for yourself, engage in good reads, unplugging from technology to develop relationships and better interpersonal skills and exercising regularly helps in producing endorphin. Endorphin trigger positive feeling in the body which in turn helps in having a positive outlook on life.