EDUCATION MAKES A DIFFERENCE

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Education is the foundation stone, laid to build a building of knowledge and experiences. It defines who we are, and is not restricted to books, or to what we learn in schools or colleges. Gaining education is an ongoing process, same like knowledge, continued throughout our life. In today’s world Education is as important as mere breathing, without which you cannot survive.

Education enlightens us, gives us the capability to understand, broadens our perspectives  gives us the ability to look beyond a certain point. It helps us in exploring ourselves, exploring our potentials, making us aware of our interests, gives confidence  self respect, builds self esteem, and gives us the power to understand the differences of right and wrong, teaches us to respect the differences of opinions,  makes us learn the value of patience, and the list of its significance goes on. Education is the integral part of our lives.

The first verses of the Quran began with the word:

“Read. Read in the name of thy Lord who created; [He] created the human being from blood clot. Read in the name of thy Lord who taught by the pen: [He] taught the human being what he did not know.” (96: 1-5).

Education is not limited to getting good marks, it means that you learn new things, and increase your knowledge, to solve the problems of everyday life in a much better manner, to have a wide vision towards life, and to become a better individual of a responsible society. Education helps you in knowing, what your rights are, and how you can exercise them, guides you in the right direction, develops the ability to understand the meaning of your destiny, gives you the capability to think, and analyze, opens our minds to experiences, make us motivated to gain more knowledge beyond text books, gives you awareness of your potentials and how to explore them. A time comes when you acknowledge its benefits in practical life, and what ever that you learned from your schools, colleges, and universities is of great value. You feel confident to look for earning a livelihood, and you start utilizing what you learned.

Education is freedom to think, to speak, to hear, and to see. Enriches our life, so that we can enhance ourselves as individuals.

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“Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.” 
— Malcolm Forbes –

Education is a fundamental human right and essential for the exercise of all other human rights. It promotes individual freedom and empowerment and yields important development benefits. Yet millions of children and adults remain deprived of educational opportunities, many as a result of poverty.—-UNESCO.

 

LETTING GO OF HURT

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The things that happened in the past, may it some emotional trauma, physical abuse, being hurt by someone deeply, some profound loss caused by someone, treated badly, a terrible heartache, which lead you to depression, left you broken, emotionally drained, low self esteem, loss of faith in people, feeling of physical and emotional stress, and lead you to have suicidal thoughts.

As these things happen, we ask ourselves, are we really ready to let go of the hurt, the emotional trauma we have being through.even if we come to terms of what happened to us is just over and we look ahead to life, we are still nagged by that traumatizing event in our life.

So, do you think it really is over? Have you really let go of the past?

I guess not. That is why you are visited by the demons of your past, which makes you unhappy now, sad now, and you weep when the thought crosses your mind. It is still haunting you and snatching away the happiness that you can have now in the present, and may be you are still having a strained relationship with that person, or perhaps it is distracting you from your work at hand, snatching away the chance to live your life to the fullest.

Oscar Wilde said, “Always forgive your enemies — nothing annoys them so much.”

Forgiving someone means that you understand your anger towards them, understand what it had cost you, and you analyze what further it will cost you in future too, and how it is affecting your present. You acknowledge how it has made you the hostage  and how it is manipulating your emotions, your chance to be happy now in the present.

the only thing we feel satisfied and relaxed in is showing anger towards that person, or hatred towards people who brought the miseries in your life. That is the only defense mechanism we work with, and don’t see how we can easily come out of it, if we tried some other things, some other way of handling that past event.

As, it is in our own hands to be happy, and our happiness depends on us. Continuing with some resentment makes us more depressive.

Its about time that the hurt is let go of. To live again, to be happy again.

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Letting go, doesn’t mean that you are not strong enough to stand and continue on fighting. It means that you are strong enough, and are wiser, to let go of past which not significant in your present and in your future. You think of the reasons behind the person who hurt you, whys, and whats. Screen out and understand why it all happened, empathize.

Understand that you are through with it, and you are ready to let go of hurt it caused you, the heartache you have being through, and are choosing something more significant in your life, the PRESENT, HAPPINESS.

Let the doors open for happiness to come in, for trust to be built again, for love to come and embrace you. 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi.

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I firmly believe in this quote:

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SELF

Things will come in life to pull you down, to drag you, to make you feel unworthy, to make you small. BUT remember you have all the power that you need to stand again, and fight, to know that you are powerful and these obstacles wont pose problems for a long time. Try finding in you, the strength to withstand the hardest of battles…….. PARISA KHAN

YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF

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Are you in pursuit to find yourself, searching for answers that you never thought of earlier? But have you thought of the most basic questions:

  • “Are you the real you?”
  • Have you ever thought that, “Whether you are doing what you are meant to do?”
  • “Have you reached the height of actualizing your potentials?”
  • “Are you connected to who you really are?”

I didn’t knew about it too, so many years ago I went to a self help group, where I was asked questions like these, whether I was connected to my core or not. Speechless as I was and shake my head in favor of NO. There I learned what connecting to your real self means. Its definitely not, which place I belong to, what role I am in, what profession I pursue. I was asked to write on a plain paper what I like in life, what I really see myself doing, what I love doing, what things make me cry, make me laugh, what things I enjoy the most, what my hobbies are. Making me realize which path to choose for myself in practical life. Even now I think of it, it warms me up, just by knowing who I really am, what I really should be doing. And I am again on the path to find the real Authentic Me.

The Trainer in that course made me realize and helped me in connecting to my core, finding who I really am. It is not the job that you do, not the social status that you have, but what your abilities, skills, aspirations, talents, and wisdom are. This defines your real self. Every one is unique, so are the abilities, the power of one’s wisdom, certain skills that are novel. All waiting to be explored to be acknowledged, expressed and to be worked on.

You can never be happy of satisfied from inside until you connect to your real self, attain your Authentic self, it is you who is the master of the game in your life, and no one else. Doing something forcefully which is not there in you will bring in negatives, and you will be drained of all the light which is in you. Discover who you really are, putting aside all the roles that are demanded of you, your pressures form your work, your other responsibilities.

Analyze yourself, start knowing your nature, what makes you tick, what your limitations are, what things you acquired in your behavior and attitude, how you interact with people, what your goals are in life, which things you can change in yourself and in your surrounding, what are the strengths and weaknesses in you, find out what guides you , motivates you, which relations are your strength, and which relations drag you. Each of us have a unique self,  unique potentials, and unique way of thinking,    this is Maslow’s Self Actualization, in Psychology of self.

“Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.”

Authentic Self means connecting the inner real you, with the outer image which is attributed to you. Authentic Self means that all is in congruence. And you have a deeper knowledge of yourself, by knowing your weaknesses you strengthen your positive points, by knowing your failings you work on your gains, you do things that are according to your beliefs and your value system. Expressing all the way your Authentic Self. You will a much fuller sense of your self, one which is more contending, relaxing, cherishing, and purposeful one. 

Being Authentic will make you confident, you will feel more positive, have a better insight in yourself and LIFE, greater self esteem, more emotionally intelligent, vital, and more creative. 

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~ George Bernard Shaw.

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ARE YOU THE OSTRICH?

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There are so many problems that we come across our daily life, for some we find short term solutions, while for others we think and plan out for longer benefits, for long time duration. Shying away from something that is troublesome, or which provokes anxiety and leads to fear, is not the solution, and have harmful affects one’s life.

Know what bothers you, find out the reasons behind it, look out for the options that are present for you to come out of it, weigh your future in the pendulum if it affects your future life, but most importantly, acknowledge that it is creating havoc in your life in the background. Knowing is just not the end. Acting accordingly and putting things into action are the real movers and shakers.

Don’t be the one who runs away from problems, situations and circumstances, which he/she cannot deal with. Being an ostrich is not the right option at all.

Ignorance is the culprit of many problems, and so is knowing ignorance, where you knowing things, yet you fail to act, where you just sit and watch. Its your life, have a grip, understand that you have something really beautiful in form of LIFE, just don’t ruin it by your ignorance.

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Knowing your ignorance about issues or problems, means that you are denying the reality, and are living in state of illusion, where you perceive the reality as some what different. This illusion will land you in a more difficult situation or circumstances. So, why not snap out of it. We all know that to avoid pain, we take actions so that we are not hurt. Same goes with ignorance, whether its deliberate ignorance or simply ignorance, it is your duty to make things right for yourself.

Yes, yes I know that we all try to take actions to save ourselves for all that trouble, or pain. But.

  • Are the actions and measures effective?
  • The course of action is the right one?
  • Is it based on knowledge, experience, and conscious thinking?
  • Are you really committed to it?
  • Do you really want to change things?

There is always room for improvement, improvement in the way we think, the way we function,  the way we put our thoughts into actions, the way we motivate ourselves, the way we stay determined. 

Start by:

  • Pinpointing the root causes of your problems.
  • Understanding that what harms it pose.
  • knowing what the threat really means to you.
  • Understanding the real meaning of LIFE.
  • Gain more knowledge into your problem, whether it is health related or some daily life circumstances.
  • Think up of the best way you can deal with it.
  • Have confidence, and know that you can accomplish your goals.
  • Prioritize your LIFE.
  • Analyse your support system.
  • Gain positive energy, and avoid things that are negative, or people who have negative energy in them.
  • Freshen up your mind, and open up for more wisdom, vibrancy.
  • Know that only YOU can change everything.
  • Stick to your decisions, ones that are based on reality, not on some day dreaming.

CONSCIOUS PARENT

Conscious parenting means to engage actively and consciously in all the aspects of parenting. Conscious parenting involves the “being” aspects of life unlike the “doing” aspects. It emphasis growth, truth and presence, and is an ongoing journey with lots of commitment.

Conscious parenting is not the traditional way of parenting, conscious parenting is a more engaging way of connecting with your child, acceptance, understanding, building confidence, thus developing a positive experience. Freedom for expressing ones feeling, providing empathy, guiding through examples, self-regulatory behavior, and developing a bond of parent child relationship.

Parenting is a difficult task, when we ourselves are snowed with lots of work, whether its our work or other tasks at hand. Parenting in itself is an art, a way of learning for ourselves, and certainly cannot be learned through books. The way everyone is different, in the same manner are the children, each having their own demands, their own nature.

It is typical of parents to punish the child for behaviors that are not accordance to them, without noticing and becoming conscious that this will reinforce the wrong behavior, and it strongly emphasizes conditional love. As a parent we must understand that disciplining cannot be done by putting conditions. We often put conditions, give threats for undesirable behavior, give punishments. Parents must learn and practice not to issue threats and the likes, rather raise independent, self-motivated children, those who are not driven by threats and punishments rather raised with conscious love, understanding, and caring. Knowing what their limits are and have an in-depth knowledge of their own personalities, understanding the reasons behind their own emotions, and of their child. Conscious parents do not focus on the problems, they try to find out the causes or reasons of certain behavior, and resolve them, without been judgmental.

While parenting, it is important that both the parents are on the same page of parenting. If the parents have different views of parenting a child, it creates conflict, and the child become confuse, as to what he/she should follow or listen too, or for that matter behave. The parents must discuss their ideas of parenting, how to approach a certain problem at hand, how to resolve a conflict, what approaches they think are conscious and reflects in the child.

Demanding some behavior from your child, without exercising it yourself is unjust. Parents are the role model, if you want your child to be disciplined, loving  understanding, helpful, independent, you certainly have to exercise everything yourself, as children are our mirror. children follow more the unspeakable language and learn more from it, than words that are said. Meaning of the actions and the way you express yourself speaks volume, and the child learn all of these without you consciously telling them. It is always wise to take a moment to think and analyze your anger, which is directed to your child, and you will surely calm yourself, when you try to understand the underlying cause of it. 

I am listing few websites that I came across, and would like to share here:

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FINDING YOURSELF

Life is just not about indulging in and losing yourself in daily activities, work or responsibilities. If that happens you will be so tuck up in it that, a time comes you really do wonder, what you were you thinking? what led you to do this to yourself? and you are left miserable.

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Try to figure out who you really are, what is your purpose your goal in life, what things you love doing, what motivates you, mobilizes you, what are the things that make you bounce.

You will find yourself once you go through the closet of thinking of who you really are. you will see how that changes your life forever. 

The same rut of life will bore you out one day, and you will be a mechanical piece going through different doors. In order to accomplish your dreams it is a necessary thing to get to know yourself , your aspirations and following your dream. You will come to now latter on what you have being missing all the while.

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When you take on the journey to find yourself you will be analyzing yourself too, what you are, what roles you are playing in life, what things matters to you most, what makes you tick,  what are your eating habits, how you respond to fears, and accomplishments, what are your limits and which defense mechanisms you use. It will develop an insight in yourself, thus making you free from things that don’t matter much, that don’t lead you to your destiny. Leaving you more connected with your real self, you will find the center of everything within you. 

Take some time out for yourself, find a place that keeps you calm, where you can relax without interruptions or demands, and dive deep in yourself. Self discovery is  the perfect thing that you can do for yourself, it will enrich your life, making you plunge into positivity.   

“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.” – Mark Twain.

“Resolve to be thyself; and know that he who finds himself, loses his misery.” – Matthew Arnold.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle.

COPING SKILLS

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You may find yourself frequently in situations that are troublesome, to demanding, pull on your nerves, pushes you to your nerves end, unbearable, stressful, anxiety provoking, or depressing.

USEFULNESS OF COPING STRATEGIES:

Every situation bring forward a different set of coping mechanism, that you can put into use, in order to deal effectively with the current situation, which is bothering you. It is important that you find out the right set of coping strategies that works best with your needs and your present situation. positive coping mechanism helps in tackling with the hand-on challenges effectively, making you more prepared and strong, while you find out ways to deal with the  stressful situation.

EFFECTIVE COPING STRATEGIES:

Some strategies are based on long term, short term, relief while others focus on increasing your confidence, preparing you to be strong, while some increase your motivation levels. the coping strategies help in defusing the stress and anxiety level, your apprehensions and upsetting emotions. Maturity is also an ruling factor in coping, the more mature and realistic you are the more effective your coping style would be. Coping strategies are behavioral patterns that we analyze and learn according to our requirements. People develop positive coping mechanism to have a better life and face difficulties and problems in an effective manner. Stay away from negativity, and negative coping mechanism, as they are harmful in the long run, like engaging in emotional eating, gambling, irrational thinking, drugs, denial of situation etc.

COPING STRATEGIES:

  • analyze the situation, the current circumstances will define what strategies to apply.
  • ask for help, form someone you trust, who understands you, or a professional help.
  • give yourself a time out, and try to relax in that time.
  • learn form your mistakes and try not to commit it again.
  • be honest to your feelings and emotions. Understand what you are going through  and how you feel for it.
  • learn and practice mindfulness.
  • develop skills to deal effectively with others.
  • develop management techniques.
  • engage in healthy activities, sports, exercise, hobbies.
  • develop patience.
  • develop an insight.
  • learn to laugh often.

MINDFUL QUOTE

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Mindfulness is a non judgmental awareness of your inner self and your outer world. Observation of your thoughts, your emotions, the bodily reactions, understanding of your attitudes, your personality and sensations.

  • Sit down and relax in a position which is comfortable for you.
  • Try to focus, and take deep slow breaths.
  • Close your eyes if you want to, it help you in connecting with your inner self.
  • Now start by becoming aware of your sensations with each breath you take.
  • In order to focus, you can also count your breaths.
  • Relax your body as you exercise the breath counting technique.
  • Become more peaceful and relaxed in your breathing stage.
  • Awaken your senses.
  • Listen to noises around you, and absorb them.

Try out other mindfulness activities too, like mindful eating, mindful awareness, mindful listening, mindful walking and many more things. The key is to concentrate to the present, to what you are doing at that time, becoming aware of who you, and completing yourself. 

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MINDFUL ATTITUDE TOWARDS LIFE

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Mindfulness is the favorite topic of discussion and learning in psychology these days. It is now considered an effective technique to becoming aware of yourself, without being judgmental  enjoying your present moment, reducing your stress, becoming conscious of your sensations, feeling and emotions.

If you become aware and conscious of yourself and your behavior, and what you are doing in the present moment, you will notice that you are engaged in so many mindless activities, like, nail biting  pulling strand of your hair, emotional eating, day dreaming, plucking your eye lashes, tearing skin of your thumb perhaps and many more. we resume to all these activities when we are not feeling emotionally stable, or perhaps thinking about something which is stressful or beyond our powers to control, perhaps when nervous. We are so engrossed in it, that we hardly become aware of it.

Mindfulness is becoming aware of your body, making a connection between mind and body, our emotions and feelings, becoming aware of the present moment, while removing the distractions, paying attention to the present, stopping and breathing, and connecting with inner-self.

In today’s busy world be are so involved in technology that we hardly notice of whats happening around us, not noticing what we are eating, not able to finger point why we are feeling stressed or depressed, and not even ready to let go of it. we divert our attention more to TV, Cellphones, laptops, computers, iPad in order to keep busy, while the problem the root cause remains the same.

Mindfulness helps in eliminating many psychological problems, depression, stress, anxiety, lowering your blood pressure, make you breath in a relaxed way, making you aware of what you put in your mouth, and making your emotionally charged self, a calm one. By focusing on your present and staying connected to here and now, makes you less jumpy, less preoccupied with unwanted negative thoughts, develops your ability to be connected to yourself and helps in understanding others and developing better relations with them.

It helps in:

  • Have a relaxed state of mind, open to curiosity towards your feelings, openness to understand your emotions. it leads to being happy, as you know your negative feelings and reasons behind it, and you look at other positive ways to remove those negative thoughts. 
  • You become aware of your present, and whats happening at that present time. Helps in bringing things to perspective.
  • It increases your awareness about your own self.
  • It helps in making you realize that negative emotions or feeling are part of life, just as setbacks, and they pass and start focusing on more positive thoughts.
  • When you become aware of your emotions, volatile they may be, you come to know that they are baseless.
  • It helps in developing acceptance of your self.
  • You become aware of your bodily needs.
  • Make you acknowledge you emotional eating pattern.
  • Make you more calm and peaceful.
  • It helps in facilitating in having good relationship.
  • You learn to manage your stress or negative thoughts.
  • It improves your concentration ability.

 Have mindfulness and have a better life.