TRANSITION TIME IN STUDENTS LIFE

Moving up in higher grades each year demands a time for you to settle down. Transitions are smooth and easy for some students while for others they are stressful and way to demanding.

As we all know transition keeps on going, where we pass through numerous biological, social, environmental and psychological changes. Each stage has its own demand, where we seek opportunities to master and demonstrate new skills, where we want to make independent decisions, form social relationships with our peers and the people around. Transition brings with it more peer pressure, developmental differences, added responsibilities and much more.

We have to deal with new responsibilities, think of school achievement and success. The factors that help are motivation, self-concept, the readiness to take up new challenges, dealing with problems effectively, being innovative in our thought, and rigorous in our approach. And it would certainly not hurt us to get help from an adult.

Children earn status in school depending on their performance. They also experience failure and frustration, especially if they are less skilled than their peers. (The Development of Children Ages 6 to 14. Jacquelynne S. Eccles).

 

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Never let yourself down, be discouraged, or frustrated, rather keep on trying, and do your best, and that too in order to achieve and excel.

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CRUSH FEAR OF FAILURE

Sometimes we feel blocked and are unable to move ahead in life. When we introspect we come to know that the fear is stopping us from going ahead in life, stopping us from trying new things. It is important that we stop and think about our fears, and try to find out the reason behind it. Being scared and getting stuck at one place can never  lead us to success. This is true for most of us.

 

  • “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible: the fear of failure. (Paulo Coelho).
  • “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. (Theodore Roosevelt).
  • “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.” (Elbert Hubbard).
  • All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha.


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These sayings listed above do resonate with us at times when we think that we are unable to do or accomplish things in our life, most particularly in exams. Life is just not about getting what you want from yourself or what you want to be. Rather it’s about appreciating what you have and accepting what you have got. Life keeps us busy by giving us challenges, sometimes present us with hurdles. But what we need to do is look at the other side of the fence, just to encourage and appreciate ourselves, no matter how little we have or what we are at that current moment. Don’t just stop in mid-way, rather try again, putting your best, knowing that you can do with little more hard work. Overcome your fears.

Sometimes our fear might be due to personal factor, where we are ashamed of our own inability and our shortcomings. It also happens that we are afraid of being ridiculed by our classmates, disappointment of parents or probably afraid of losing teachers love when we fail in our exams.

Think about what went wrong with your failure and learn from your falling  Remove the fear of failure and consider an alternative to reach your goals. Progress from that point, improving and enhancing yourself in the process. Learn to think positively and work towards building your self-esteem, which sure will help you in overcoming your fear of failure.

CONSCIOUS PARENT

Conscious parenting means to engage actively and consciously in all the aspects of parenting. Conscious parenting involves the “being” aspects of life unlike the “doing” aspects. It emphasis growth, truth and presence, and is an ongoing journey with lots of commitment.

Conscious parenting is not the traditional way of parenting, conscious parenting is a more engaging way of connecting with your child, acceptance, understanding, building confidence, thus developing a positive experience. Freedom for expressing ones feeling, providing empathy, guiding through examples, self-regulatory behavior, and developing a bond of parent child relationship.

Parenting is a difficult task, when we ourselves are snowed with lots of work, whether its our work or other tasks at hand. Parenting in itself is an art, a way of learning for ourselves, and certainly cannot be learned through books. The way everyone is different, in the same manner are the children, each having their own demands, their own nature.

It is typical of parents to punish the child for behaviors that are not accordance to them, without noticing and becoming conscious that this will reinforce the wrong behavior, and it strongly emphasizes conditional love. As a parent we must understand that disciplining cannot be done by putting conditions. We often put conditions, give threats for undesirable behavior, give punishments. Parents must learn and practice not to issue threats and the likes, rather raise independent, self-motivated children, those who are not driven by threats and punishments rather raised with conscious love, understanding, and caring. Knowing what their limits are and have an in-depth knowledge of their own personalities, understanding the reasons behind their own emotions, and of their child. Conscious parents do not focus on the problems, they try to find out the causes or reasons of certain behavior, and resolve them, without been judgmental.

While parenting, it is important that both the parents are on the same page of parenting. If the parents have different views of parenting a child, it creates conflict, and the child become confuse, as to what he/she should follow or listen too, or for that matter behave. The parents must discuss their ideas of parenting, how to approach a certain problem at hand, how to resolve a conflict, what approaches they think are conscious and reflects in the child.

Demanding some behavior from your child, without exercising it yourself is unjust. Parents are the role model, if you want your child to be disciplined, loving  understanding, helpful, independent, you certainly have to exercise everything yourself, as children are our mirror. children follow more the unspeakable language and learn more from it, than words that are said. Meaning of the actions and the way you express yourself speaks volume, and the child learn all of these without you consciously telling them. It is always wise to take a moment to think and analyze your anger, which is directed to your child, and you will surely calm yourself, when you try to understand the underlying cause of it. 

I am listing few websites that I came across, and would like to share here:

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SUCCESSFUL RAISING

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There is no fixed formula or pattern to raise a child. The parenting styles varies from child to child, depending on the nature of the parents, availability of the parents, and the nature of the child.

Be like the way, you want your child to be. Provide them with the right kind of environment, for growth, stability in emotions, and capability to think in a free manner. Every child has their own set of demands, which they want to be fulfilled. Some children express it in the gentle manner, while other show aggression. It is important mold them in a more appropriate and acceptable behavior.

There is certainly no need to jump in every now and then to be a dictator, laying down rules, being pushy and over observant. Children like to spend sometime alone, playing, where they do not want to be judged and told whether they are right or wrong. So, give them a little space, if they want to play alone or with other children, let them. Elbowing your way in is quiet embarrassing for your child, especially in presence of other children.

From the start show the importance of manners, by exercising it yourself, like, PLEASE, THANK YOU, WELCOME, GOOD MORNING, BLESS YOU etc. The child will observe you and follow course, once it is established at an early age, rest of the manner hierarchy is achieved on its own.

Refrain yourself from being over protective, let them do things on their own. This part is the difficult one, especially for mothers. I guess I did, the same, and was told to stop doing it, as it is not good for all the right reasons. I really is difficult to see your child having a hard time climbing and while coming down having a fall, where you can not stop yourself from providing all the help you can think up of. RESTRAIN. This is the greatest challenge I assume. Let them struggle, it will develop their ability to learn new tactics and improving their mistakes, and learning better ways to approach a problem.

In order to exercise some rules at home, it is better to have some discipline first, where the child knows what things are done in what manner. Whether they can play first or do they homework, or where they can watch cartoon endlessly or play outside, or do cycling. What I think works is, the TIME TABLE. It is not necessary to be very rigid, but the baseline is there for every one to follow. Even kids will automatically start thinking in that way. For example, they know in evenings they have to finish their school home work, they might like to watch a little TV for their Cartoon show, for which you can give them a little time, and they themselves will off TV and come to their work desks to finish off their work. IT REALLY WORKS, IT IS WORKING WITH ME.

Be warm and kind, hugging and loving your child and telling them that you love them do wonders for their emotions. Instead of being angry, take a deep breath and tell them assertively what is wrong behavior and which behavior is acceptable. Keep on practicing, it will work, Patience is the key in achieving everything, remember that.

Don’t ever scold or raise your voice on your child, in presence of others. This is the most humiliating thing that you can do, for embarrassing them. It is always better, to go down on your knees and explain that the behavior they are showing is not acceptable, if they need something, they should ask for it slowly and using the words like please. That’s what I do when my child is throwing a tantrum in supermarket. It do works.

Be there for your kids, spend  quality time with them, rather thinking that you can buy smiles by giving them toys etc. It doesn’t last in the long run. Kids do remember the sharing time, playing time as a family. Quality time means, that you switch off TV, put away your cell phone, and play with them, hear them out, listen to them carefully and respond them in the kindest manner possible.