My article POSITIVE PARENTING in Psych Magazine U.A.E. Click on the link to read the article.
My article POSITIVE PARENTING in Psych Magazine U.A.E. Click on the link to read the article.
Every day I hear about the DO’s and DON’Ts of CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT. Teachers complain that they are not able to handle their class effectively and due to which the lesson that they have to convey suffers a lot. Classroom discipline certainly do plays an important role and is the teachers number one priority.
The educators are of view that discipline is the key for effective teaching. And it is the number one reason for TEACHER BURNOUT, adding to dissatisfaction, depression and anxiety.
Classroom management stands for a variety of techniques, methods, or skills employed by the teacher in having an organised class, disciplined students, who are active listeners, are attentive, and focus on academics, to be productive and enthusiastic in class.
If in a classroom the classroom management techniques are implied or carried out effectively, the behavior of the students improves and it in turn enhances their study skills, keeping them more engaged in lesson.
It is a general believe that effective teachers display effective and strong management skills in class, while teachers have display short comings in classroom management tend to have an indiscipline class.
Teachers role in a class is of a facilitator, one who acts as a moderator between the lesson and students. The body language of the teacher, the material the teacher uses to enhance the lesson, and the environment the teacher creates tend to bring a whole new positive energy in the class.
On the other hand if the material or activities used for supporting lesson are not effective, the lesson is poorly designed, not engaging or interesting, or the expectations are not clear, leads to major let down for the whole lesson. The students loose the interest, there might be an increase in behavioral problems, aggression or frustration might generate.
Classroom management strategies are just not something that can be written on the paper and to be strictly followed, though I will be focusing on a few in the end. Classroom management is nothing sophisticated, the presence of mind, patience, creativity, a positive attitude and a passion for the profession keeps the water flowing.
To start with:
The reason that I am writing this article is, I was reflecting on my life, and the way I was brought up and the way I want my children to be. DISCIPLINE is the only word that came to my mind. We as kids were told about discipline and what is expected from us, and I really appreciate the efforts my parents made, it shaped my PERSONALITY and MY WHOLE LIFE.
Foundations that are laid early in life, last a long time and have a great impact on one’s life. Discipline tells how to live our life, and how we can make it fruitful, and lead into the direction of self enhancement, high morals and freedom. Many people do think it means restrictions, punishments, and lack of expression, which is entirely wrong. In fact, DISCIPLINE gives a more mature and firm ground on which you can build your entire life on principles of freedom, appropriate expression, judgment, containment, and high standards.
Discipline is believing in oneself, ones qualities, and doing things that are right, and is not just pleasing others. You learn how to express your emotions appropriately and maturely, without being drowned by emotional flood. It builds your mental capacity how to react in situations, how to think with a clear head, and what could be the next possible step.
Discipline enriches your life and you learn how to manage your life effectively. It guides you and teaches you to manage your relationships, your finances, give you an insight to your future course of life. It makes you think rationally in the light of your past experiences, your present situation and tells you about your future path.
You learn to live a life according to your own standards, your own set of rules, and it really doesn’t matter what others think of you. It keeps on reminding you what you want out of your life, and you plan your path accordingly.
Emotional punishment is meant to humiliate the child and cause psychological pain.
Corporal punishment is more visible.
The research show that corporal punishment does none of these and is in fact form of violent abuse against children.
(Durrant, Joan E. “Corporal Punishment Prevalence, Predictors & Implications for child Development”. In: Hart, Stuart N (ed.). Eliminating corporal punishment: The way Forward to Constructive child Discipline. Paris: UNSECO Publishing. 2005.).
Conscious parenting means to engage actively and consciously in all the aspects of parenting. Conscious parenting involves the “being” aspects of life unlike the “doing” aspects. It emphasis growth, truth and presence, and is an ongoing journey with lots of commitment.
Conscious parenting is not the traditional way of parenting, conscious parenting is a more engaging way of connecting with your child, acceptance, understanding, building confidence, thus developing a positive experience. Freedom for expressing ones feeling, providing empathy, guiding through examples, self-regulatory behavior, and developing a bond of parent child relationship.
Parenting is a difficult task, when we ourselves are snowed with lots of work, whether its our work or other tasks at hand. Parenting in itself is an art, a way of learning for ourselves, and certainly cannot be learned through books. The way everyone is different, in the same manner are the children, each having their own demands, their own nature.
It is typical of parents to punish the child for behaviors that are not accordance to them, without noticing and becoming conscious that this will reinforce the wrong behavior, and it strongly emphasizes conditional love. As a parent we must understand that disciplining cannot be done by putting conditions. We often put conditions, give threats for undesirable behavior, give punishments. Parents must learn and practice not to issue threats and the likes, rather raise independent, self-motivated children, those who are not driven by threats and punishments rather raised with conscious love, understanding, and caring. Knowing what their limits are and have an in-depth knowledge of their own personalities, understanding the reasons behind their own emotions, and of their child. Conscious parents do not focus on the problems, they try to find out the causes or reasons of certain behavior, and resolve them, without been judgmental.
While parenting, it is important that both the parents are on the same page of parenting. If the parents have different views of parenting a child, it creates conflict, and the child become confuse, as to what he/she should follow or listen too, or for that matter behave. The parents must discuss their ideas of parenting, how to approach a certain problem at hand, how to resolve a conflict, what approaches they think are conscious and reflects in the child.
Demanding some behavior from your child, without exercising it yourself is unjust. Parents are the role model, if you want your child to be disciplined, loving understanding, helpful, independent, you certainly have to exercise everything yourself, as children are our mirror. children follow more the unspeakable language and learn more from it, than words that are said. Meaning of the actions and the way you express yourself speaks volume, and the child learn all of these without you consciously telling them. It is always wise to take a moment to think and analyze your anger, which is directed to your child, and you will surely calm yourself, when you try to understand the underlying cause of it.
I am listing few websites that I came across, and would like to share here:
There is no fixed formula or pattern to raise a child. The parenting styles varies from child to child, depending on the nature of the parents, availability of the parents, and the nature of the child.
Be like the way, you want your child to be. Provide them with the right kind of environment, for growth, stability in emotions, and capability to think in a free manner. Every child has their own set of demands, which they want to be fulfilled. Some children express it in the gentle manner, while other show aggression. It is important mold them in a more appropriate and acceptable behavior.
There is certainly no need to jump in every now and then to be a dictator, laying down rules, being pushy and over observant. Children like to spend sometime alone, playing, where they do not want to be judged and told whether they are right or wrong. So, give them a little space, if they want to play alone or with other children, let them. Elbowing your way in is quiet embarrassing for your child, especially in presence of other children.
From the start show the importance of manners, by exercising it yourself, like, PLEASE, THANK YOU, WELCOME, GOOD MORNING, BLESS YOU etc. The child will observe you and follow course, once it is established at an early age, rest of the manner hierarchy is achieved on its own.
Refrain yourself from being over protective, let them do things on their own. This part is the difficult one, especially for mothers. I guess I did, the same, and was told to stop doing it, as it is not good for all the right reasons. I really is difficult to see your child having a hard time climbing and while coming down having a fall, where you can not stop yourself from providing all the help you can think up of. RESTRAIN. This is the greatest challenge I assume. Let them struggle, it will develop their ability to learn new tactics and improving their mistakes, and learning better ways to approach a problem.
In order to exercise some rules at home, it is better to have some discipline first, where the child knows what things are done in what manner. Whether they can play first or do they homework, or where they can watch cartoon endlessly or play outside, or do cycling. What I think works is, the TIME TABLE. It is not necessary to be very rigid, but the baseline is there for every one to follow. Even kids will automatically start thinking in that way. For example, they know in evenings they have to finish their school home work, they might like to watch a little TV for their Cartoon show, for which you can give them a little time, and they themselves will off TV and come to their work desks to finish off their work. IT REALLY WORKS, IT IS WORKING WITH ME.
Be warm and kind, hugging and loving your child and telling them that you love them do wonders for their emotions. Instead of being angry, take a deep breath and tell them assertively what is wrong behavior and which behavior is acceptable. Keep on practicing, it will work, Patience is the key in achieving everything, remember that.
Don’t ever scold or raise your voice on your child, in presence of others. This is the most humiliating thing that you can do, for embarrassing them. It is always better, to go down on your knees and explain that the behavior they are showing is not acceptable, if they need something, they should ask for it slowly and using the words like please. That’s what I do when my child is throwing a tantrum in supermarket. It do works.
Be there for your kids, spend quality time with them, rather thinking that you can buy smiles by giving them toys etc. It doesn’t last in the long run. Kids do remember the sharing time, playing time as a family. Quality time means, that you switch off TV, put away your cell phone, and play with them, hear them out, listen to them carefully and respond them in the kindest manner possible.
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