SPREADING HAPPINESS

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I believe in this saying.

I think when you share people’s problem, listen to them with open heart, give a shoulder to cry on and supporting them in whatever you can, you make them happy and ultimately it bring HAPPINESS to you.

HAPPINESS doesn’t mean that you have account full of money, a luxurious home to live in, perfect kids, perfect spouse and a dream job.

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NO!!!!

HAPPINESS is spreading HAPPINESS.

Content with what you have, no matter how little it is. And still you care for others you help them out in their lives and still keep on moving with yours. THAT IS REAL HAPPINESS.

Carrying out small ACTS OF KINDNESS and SMILING at people to show them love and care makes your day. IT WORKS FOR ME.

I am alhumdulilah what I always wanted to be, and each day I try to achieve whatever is there in my capacity no matter how big or small it is, to spread happiness, to make people feel loved, and cared for.

It brings back immense HAPPINESS when people say that thank you you made my day, thank you for listening it means a lot, thank you for guiding we will try it out, thank you for just being there. I feel so blessed and I thank ALMIGHTY ALLAH for choosing me to do something for humanity, though its not much.

It gives me solitude, brings peace to me.

We just need a good smile in morning to make us feel better, a pat on the back that we are not alone, a compassionate hand to know that we are not walking alone, a good greet to realize that we can make it.

Every small gesture counts, a small act means a lot, it will become a habit, a behavior and will impact the society and community where people give a helping hand to each other in order to spread HAPPINESS.

START BY:

  •  Saying a Happy HI!
  • Greet people GOOD MORNING even when you don’t know them.
  • Be a listening ear.
  • Thank people even for smallest gestures.
  • Give gifts.
  • Be a helping hand.
  • Support your community.
  • Be POSITIVE.
  • Inspire others by your smile.
  • Help out people who are in need.
  • Reach out to those who work for you.
  • Be understanding of others view, and don’t be judgmental.
  • Be some ones SUNSHINE.
  • Be a SILVER LINING in some ones cloud.
  • Be a LIGHT for some one in need.

So, don’t wait for HAPPINESS to come to you.

START SPREADING HAPPINESS AROUND YOU WHEREVER YOU ALL ARE, IT WILL ULTIMATELY COME BACK TO YOU AND YOU WILL FEEL IMMENSE PEACE.

A NEW DAY

As the day starts I get myself busy in getting the things done, saying my prayers, preparing breakfast, preparing lunch boxes (according to the demands of the kids 🙂 the picky eaters), checking that the lunch is ready and handy when we return back home from our day out.

At the same time thinking what are the things that I have to do today at my workplace, all things lined up as the school have started, thinking of children who come to me for counselling.

And on the other note I saw the time, yikes have to rush things up, getting late.

Well this all make me think that how we work hard to make our lives easy and better for our children. My heart reach out to them all the time and sometimes I feel like holding them tightly and hugging them, it bring tears in my eyes just by thinking of it.

I just want to leave something positive in people around me, people whom I talk to, or people who come to me with their problems.

Never, ever give up…..keep on trying, no matter if you have to struggle very hard. You might not be able to do something for yourself, but probably others around you are benefiting from it.

You may not have all the things that you want or wished for, but yes you are blessed with lot of other things that others might not be having.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. You will certainly feel blessed.

Have a nice day.

ARE YOU HAVING A LOW OPINION OF YOURSELF?

 “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. Eleanor Roosevelt.

 

Independent of your successes, failures or the opinion of others, the way you appreciate, value, accept yourselves is SELF-WORTH. Self-worth means that you have a favorable opinion of yourself and that you believe that you have a right to feel positive of yourself. And for doing so your actions, thoughts and beliefs are the milestones.

 

If you are experiencing or going through:

 

□       Low feeling.

□       Depression.

□       Mood swings.

□       Feeling bad about being judged by others.

□       Not able to control/handle situations.

□       Dissatisfied with self or life.

□       Feeling of helplessness.

□       Unable to maintain social life.

 

It means that you are having low self- worth and you need to take actions to improve it.

 

If you are having low self-worth, you certainly can change your current state.

 

  •   Only you are responsible for your success.
  •   It’s okay to make mistakes.
  •   Only you have control on your future.
  •  Positive thinking leads to positive actions.

 

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Give meaning to your life and live a happy life.

OPENNESS IN RELATIONSHIP

People who need inspiration in life, expect to know the truth, and people who deserve motivation in life needs the same. Nothing can be as bonding in a relationship as truth. Lie breaks relationship, leading to heart ache and pain.

It is important to know and to find out how one’s spouse think, what his/her motivations are, life goals and inspirations are? Knowing the nature of your spouse you can automatically switch into that mode when difficult or distressing time comes. BUT it is shocking, emotionally disturbing to find out that the other person is secretive, and might be a compulsive liar.

Time and again we all do need a break, a distance, a space where we can be in touch to our inner self, keeping things to ourselves sometimes to work them out, or perhaps we do not want to hurt our partners feelings and emotions. But that doesn’t mean that one turn into a person where no one can reach him/her. Hiding things, being secretive or lying every now and then.

The basis on a true, loving and long lasting relationship is in openness, truth, sharing one’s thoughts and ideas. Sometimes what is right and true for us is not the same for another person. You need to find out the underlying cause of things, without being judgmental, without passing remarks. And the key to every relations is communication (that’s what I believe in).

It would indeed be difficult to trust a person who misused it earlier. But never break a relationship on it, rather try to develop a healthy bonding with the partner. Give the person enough love, so that he/she can open up to you, share his/her fears, tell the things that went wrong.

Openness helps build a sound relationship, where you set plans for future, share ideas, your private thoughts, knowing that you will not be judged or criticized, rather will be heard. Fulfilling each others emotional need which is boosted by honesty, love, openness which in turn are the core for a good relationship.

Relationships are very important part of our lives, do take care before you hurt someone by your lying habit.

LETTING GO OF HURT

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The things that happened in the past, may it some emotional trauma, physical abuse, being hurt by someone deeply, some profound loss caused by someone, treated badly, a terrible heartache, which lead you to depression, left you broken, emotionally drained, low self esteem, loss of faith in people, feeling of physical and emotional stress, and lead you to have suicidal thoughts.

As these things happen, we ask ourselves, are we really ready to let go of the hurt, the emotional trauma we have being through.even if we come to terms of what happened to us is just over and we look ahead to life, we are still nagged by that traumatizing event in our life.

So, do you think it really is over? Have you really let go of the past?

I guess not. That is why you are visited by the demons of your past, which makes you unhappy now, sad now, and you weep when the thought crosses your mind. It is still haunting you and snatching away the happiness that you can have now in the present, and may be you are still having a strained relationship with that person, or perhaps it is distracting you from your work at hand, snatching away the chance to live your life to the fullest.

Oscar Wilde said, “Always forgive your enemies — nothing annoys them so much.”

Forgiving someone means that you understand your anger towards them, understand what it had cost you, and you analyze what further it will cost you in future too, and how it is affecting your present. You acknowledge how it has made you the hostage  and how it is manipulating your emotions, your chance to be happy now in the present.

the only thing we feel satisfied and relaxed in is showing anger towards that person, or hatred towards people who brought the miseries in your life. That is the only defense mechanism we work with, and don’t see how we can easily come out of it, if we tried some other things, some other way of handling that past event.

As, it is in our own hands to be happy, and our happiness depends on us. Continuing with some resentment makes us more depressive.

Its about time that the hurt is let go of. To live again, to be happy again.

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Letting go, doesn’t mean that you are not strong enough to stand and continue on fighting. It means that you are strong enough, and are wiser, to let go of past which not significant in your present and in your future. You think of the reasons behind the person who hurt you, whys, and whats. Screen out and understand why it all happened, empathize.

Understand that you are through with it, and you are ready to let go of hurt it caused you, the heartache you have being through, and are choosing something more significant in your life, the PRESENT, HAPPINESS.

Let the doors open for happiness to come in, for trust to be built again, for love to come and embrace you. 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi.

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I firmly believe in this quote:

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MINDFUL ATTITUDE TOWARDS LIFE

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Mindfulness is the favorite topic of discussion and learning in psychology these days. It is now considered an effective technique to becoming aware of yourself, without being judgmental  enjoying your present moment, reducing your stress, becoming conscious of your sensations, feeling and emotions.

If you become aware and conscious of yourself and your behavior, and what you are doing in the present moment, you will notice that you are engaged in so many mindless activities, like, nail biting  pulling strand of your hair, emotional eating, day dreaming, plucking your eye lashes, tearing skin of your thumb perhaps and many more. we resume to all these activities when we are not feeling emotionally stable, or perhaps thinking about something which is stressful or beyond our powers to control, perhaps when nervous. We are so engrossed in it, that we hardly become aware of it.

Mindfulness is becoming aware of your body, making a connection between mind and body, our emotions and feelings, becoming aware of the present moment, while removing the distractions, paying attention to the present, stopping and breathing, and connecting with inner-self.

In today’s busy world be are so involved in technology that we hardly notice of whats happening around us, not noticing what we are eating, not able to finger point why we are feeling stressed or depressed, and not even ready to let go of it. we divert our attention more to TV, Cellphones, laptops, computers, iPad in order to keep busy, while the problem the root cause remains the same.

Mindfulness helps in eliminating many psychological problems, depression, stress, anxiety, lowering your blood pressure, make you breath in a relaxed way, making you aware of what you put in your mouth, and making your emotionally charged self, a calm one. By focusing on your present and staying connected to here and now, makes you less jumpy, less preoccupied with unwanted negative thoughts, develops your ability to be connected to yourself and helps in understanding others and developing better relations with them.

It helps in:

  • Have a relaxed state of mind, open to curiosity towards your feelings, openness to understand your emotions. it leads to being happy, as you know your negative feelings and reasons behind it, and you look at other positive ways to remove those negative thoughts. 
  • You become aware of your present, and whats happening at that present time. Helps in bringing things to perspective.
  • It increases your awareness about your own self.
  • It helps in making you realize that negative emotions or feeling are part of life, just as setbacks, and they pass and start focusing on more positive thoughts.
  • When you become aware of your emotions, volatile they may be, you come to know that they are baseless.
  • It helps in developing acceptance of your self.
  • You become aware of your bodily needs.
  • Make you acknowledge you emotional eating pattern.
  • Make you more calm and peaceful.
  • It helps in facilitating in having good relationship.
  • You learn to manage your stress or negative thoughts.
  • It improves your concentration ability.

 Have mindfulness and have a better life. 

RELATIONSHIPS ARE PRECIOUS

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Every relationship begins with excitement, joy, and long time life commitments are made by both partners. Building up a healthy understanding is crucial in the beginning, which lays a foundation stone for years to come. Give time to each other exclusively  without any other commitments, try to understand the nature of the partner, grew close in a loving relationship.

Once the relationship is established  after a sometime, it seems a drag. We all know a few bumps and down the hill factors come in ones marriages, that is the normal thing, and nothing to be depressive about.

The main things is to recognize them at the right time, and deal with it without taking sides, in a rational and practical manner. It is the couples responsibility to understand the problems, which they are having, and try to sit together and sort them out in a positive manner, keeping in view the marriage, and how they want to make it successful.

While living together, we get to know, how the other person works in different situations, what make the other partner ticks, what are the things that the partner likes and what he/she dislikes, what is the nature of the other person. This helps a lot in approaching the issue, and resolving it in a sensible manner.

Most of the problems arise from poor communication, where the partners have lack of communication and are unable to express their feelings, or are unable to share things. This doesn’t happen in one day, it starts and is noticed later on. It is important for both the partners to identify this issue early, and should never close channels of communication, expressing ones feelings, emotions and thoughts. 

If are having a strained relationship, give it time, put in more efforts to make each other happy, be around at time of need, show your love, and concern, don’t let your partner be in a withdrawn state.

Start by:

  • Understand to which background and lifestyle your partner belongs to, it will make things easier for you to handle and understand. Everyone is different in showing emotions and reacting to things, some are over joyous  have more descriptive ability, some show more love and demand it in return to, while some are overly angry sort.
  • Don’t push your presence on the other person. Everyone has their own personal space, and like to exercise it to. Giving someone space doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t love you, rather it is a more mature way of living.
  • Don’t force your likes and dislikes on your partner. If you are doing that, it will definitely crush their happiness. As no one is same, than how can the likes and dislikes for things can be similar. Let the partner have freedom of expression  and never try to force your thinking on him/her.
  • It is reminded to us from time and again, not to have expectations. It is true too in marriage as well. Cut down on expectations as they really, if they are not met. 
  • Everyone has their own point of view, so why not you 2 have as well. Accepting others view is important. Try to find out what your partner means by a certain thing he/she said. What was the reason behind that thinking, it will make it easier for you to understand that view point. There is no point in fighting over a thinking pattern either of you have. Even if you do not agree what other have said, just accept it or provide a rational statement, and avoid having an argument.
  • Stop relying on technology to express your feelings. I certainly not believe on Telephone conversation, as you never know what mood the other person is in. Rather set up a time to relax and sharing. Take time out from your responsibilities and spend quality time with each other, which is uninterrupted by phones, TV, or other such techno stuff. 
  • Sometimes it is advisable to be just quiet and make your partner feel relax too. if you are having an argument and knows no matter what you say, your partner will not listen, give in, and stay calm. It doesn’t mean that yo are wrong, it means you are responsible enough to make your relationship work and love your partner.
  • Don’t assume that your partner will judge our mood and your thinking, and will act accordingly. Speaking up and expressing yourself puts your emotions in a better light, rather than staying in a  MUM state. 
  • Spend sometime alone, in relaxing and going out, doing things that you like, it freshens you up, which is very positive.
  • Develop trust in your partner, and trusting your partner as well. Never leave any room for doubt.
  • If you are having doubts, speak up and let your partner know, sort hem out in a relaxed manner.
  • Don’t be criticizing all  the time, whether its your husband or your wife. No one is perfect, understand the persons strengths and weaknesses and accept them.
  • Apologizing doesn’t make you small, it means that you care enough.
  • You can never truly love someone, by changing them. So stop thinking that way.
  • Plan holidays where the two of you can have exclusive time for each other, this helps in strong bonding, which is essential in marriage.
  • Rekindle your love time and again.

Never leave a true relation for few small faults.
Nobody is perfect,nobody is correct… and Remember affection is always greater than perfection…”