CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Conflict is a natural, vital part of life. When conflict is understood, it can become an opportunity to learn and create. The challenge for people in conflict is to apply the principles of creative cooperation in their human relationships. (Richard Bodine, Donna Crawford, and Fred Schrumpf. Creating the Peaceable School: A Comprehensive Program for Teaching conflict Resolution).

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Conflict management and its resolution is a skill to work effectively in academics, work or social setting, so as to succeed as an independent individual. Conflict Management skill develops early in life, where a child develops the ability to read the non-verbal cues like, facial expressions, body language, tone of voice etc. that are part of socializing.

 

 

In order to manage conflict begin by:

  • Accepting the conflict. It will play an important role in managing conflict. Remember, conflict occurs in everyday life and it provides the opportunity to grow, understand and enhance communication skills.
  • Whether you are a sounding board to your friend or you are dealing with your own conflicts, remember that your response or the way you deal with a conflicting situation might escalate the intensity or decrease the intensity of the problem at hand. Be calm as it provides an opportunity to be neutral and helps in thinking clearly the action plan to resolve the problem.
  • Get to know or analyze the reasons behind the conflict, why it made you angry, what you are afraid of losing, who are you angry with etc.
  • Be specific about the problem or the conflict and only devise ways to resolve it, without being judgmental.
  • Work together, without blaming each other or self for the problem.
  • Communicate effectively, which includes the behavior to listen, and speak about facts and feelings. Expressing your concerns without being aggressive, and exercising self-control in order to avoid emotional out-bursts.

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CRUSH FEAR OF FAILURE

Sometimes we feel blocked and are unable to move ahead in life. When we introspect we come to know that the fear is stopping us from going ahead in life, stopping us from trying new things. It is important that we stop and think about our fears, and try to find out the reason behind it. Being scared and getting stuck at one place can never  lead us to success. This is true for most of us.

 

  • “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible: the fear of failure. (Paulo Coelho).
  • “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. (Theodore Roosevelt).
  • “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.” (Elbert Hubbard).
  • All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha.


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These sayings listed above do resonate with us at times when we think that we are unable to do or accomplish things in our life, most particularly in exams. Life is just not about getting what you want from yourself or what you want to be. Rather it’s about appreciating what you have and accepting what you have got. Life keeps us busy by giving us challenges, sometimes present us with hurdles. But what we need to do is look at the other side of the fence, just to encourage and appreciate ourselves, no matter how little we have or what we are at that current moment. Don’t just stop in mid-way, rather try again, putting your best, knowing that you can do with little more hard work. Overcome your fears.

Sometimes our fear might be due to personal factor, where we are ashamed of our own inability and our shortcomings. It also happens that we are afraid of being ridiculed by our classmates, disappointment of parents or probably afraid of losing teachers love when we fail in our exams.

Think about what went wrong with your failure and learn from your falling  Remove the fear of failure and consider an alternative to reach your goals. Progress from that point, improving and enhancing yourself in the process. Learn to think positively and work towards building your self-esteem, which sure will help you in overcoming your fear of failure.

DISCIPLINE IN LIFE = BETTER LIFE

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The reason that I am writing this article is, I was reflecting on my life, and the way I was brought up and the way I want my children to be. DISCIPLINE is the only word that came to my mind. We as kids were told about discipline and what is expected from us, and I really appreciate the efforts my parents made, it shaped my PERSONALITY  and MY WHOLE LIFE.

Foundations that are laid early in life, last a long time and have a great impact on one’s life. Discipline tells how to live our life, and how we can make it fruitful, and lead into the direction of self enhancement, high morals and freedom. Many people do think it means restrictions, punishments, and lack of expression, which is entirely wrong. In fact, DISCIPLINE gives a more mature and firm ground on which you can build your entire life on principles of freedom, appropriate expression, judgment, containment, and high standards.

Discipline is believing in oneself, ones qualities, and doing things that are right, and is not just pleasing others. You learn how to express your emotions appropriately and maturely, without being drowned by emotional flood. It builds your mental capacity how to react in situations, how to think with a clear head, and what could be the next possible step.

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Discipline enriches your life and you learn how to manage your life effectively. It guides you and teaches you to manage your relationships, your finances, give you an insight to your future course of life. It makes you think rationally in the light of your past experiences, your present situation and tells you about your future path.

You learn to live a life according to your own standards, your own set of rules, and it really doesn’t matter what others think of you. It keeps on reminding you what you want out of your life, and you plan your path accordingly.

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IMPORTANCE OF GOALS IN LIFE

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects”……ALBERT EINSTEIN.

If you look around you might notice that there are some people who work hard and are in a continuous process of determination, putting in effort, BUT they don’t seem to get anywhere worth mentioning. They live their life aimlessly, not knowing where to go, and their all efforts are not enough to meet their destiny.

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score”………… Bill Copeland

GOAL setting is very important, it gives you a sense of direction, a path to follow, shows you a way to reach your destiny. It provides insight in problems, in ways of handling your present and shaping your future. It helps you in knowing what you really want from your life, and what you want to achieve in life. It tells you which step you took, that were wrong, or would you can do to take a different alternative path, and make you see things clearly, shaping you entire LIFE. You than put all your efforts in the right direction knowing that will help you in achieving your motives.

Goal setting help you in motivating yourself, and you analyse your steps that you have to take, it helps you in making an action plan, giving you MEANINGFUL LIFE.

You can realize your dreams, attain heights of your desire and wishes, keep yourself happy and those associated with you. You taste success, happiness and inner satisfaction.

Goals help you in having a satisfied life, managing your finances, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, provide you inner growth, enhances your creativity and much more.

“The power of goals can only be felt when you make goals and taste success”……… PARISA KHAN.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF, IN YOUR ABILITIES, KNOW THAT ONLY YOU CAN DO IT FOR YOURSELF.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

Believe in your abilities, that you are worthy enough for anything, and that you can achieve things with your hard work, persuasion, and sincerity. the people who do not believe in them selves give way to negative thoughts, leading to negative actions and self doubt.

Never let negative thought make home in your mind, as it will breed contempt, hatred, self defeating thoughts, demotivating you and will generate a feelings of unworthiness.

Build your confidence, give space for positive thoughts. know that only you can help yourself, no matter what people around you do to support you, the ultimate power lies in your hands. Take charge of your life. Lack of self confidence restricts you from obtaining or achieving goals, generate self hatred patters in behavior, thinking negatively about oneself, and stopping you from performing better. This is not restricted to self, it starts showing up in relationships, workplace, social groups, where you hesitate to ta take any decision, any step, starting new business, initiating a plan in office, sharing an idea, speaking your own mind, making you anxious and hopeless in situations as you think that you can not perform well and not worthy enough, or a more worse form of it like, what ever I do never turns out good or positive.

Setbacks do come in life, sometimes we have to face failures too, but that doesn’t mean that we are not good enough. This thing should be taken in a positive manner, that though I have failed this time, I will put in more efforts to improve the situation. It might take a little longer, but ultimately I will achieve my objectives.

Deal with your negative thought pattern, train your mind to think positively, believing in your efforts, your hard work, determination, know that you will do it.

Keep a check how you behave in certain situations, how you react to things and circumstances, know your behavior and your attitude toward things. This will enable you to see how you are reacting to things and dealing with situations, it will prepare you for challenging situations that arise, and then you will know how to handle those situations. You will learn from your mistakes, it will guide you which path to take to road to success.