SPREADING HAPPINESS

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I believe in this saying.

I think when you share people’s problem, listen to them with open heart, give a shoulder to cry on and supporting them in whatever you can, you make them happy and ultimately it bring HAPPINESS to you.

HAPPINESS doesn’t mean that you have account full of money, a luxurious home to live in, perfect kids, perfect spouse and a dream job.

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NO!!!!

HAPPINESS is spreading HAPPINESS.

Content with what you have, no matter how little it is. And still you care for others you help them out in their lives and still keep on moving with yours. THAT IS REAL HAPPINESS.

Carrying out small ACTS OF KINDNESS and SMILING at people to show them love and care makes your day. IT WORKS FOR ME.

I am alhumdulilah what I always wanted to be, and each day I try to achieve whatever is there in my capacity no matter how big or small it is, to spread happiness, to make people feel loved, and cared for.

It brings back immense HAPPINESS when people say that thank you you made my day, thank you for listening it means a lot, thank you for guiding we will try it out, thank you for just being there. I feel so blessed and I thank ALMIGHTY ALLAH for choosing me to do something for humanity, though its not much.

It gives me solitude, brings peace to me.

We just need a good smile in morning to make us feel better, a pat on the back that we are not alone, a compassionate hand to know that we are not walking alone, a good greet to realize that we can make it.

Every small gesture counts, a small act means a lot, it will become a habit, a behavior and will impact the society and community where people give a helping hand to each other in order to spread HAPPINESS.

START BY:

  •  Saying a Happy HI!
  • Greet people GOOD MORNING even when you don’t know them.
  • Be a listening ear.
  • Thank people even for smallest gestures.
  • Give gifts.
  • Be a helping hand.
  • Support your community.
  • Be POSITIVE.
  • Inspire others by your smile.
  • Help out people who are in need.
  • Reach out to those who work for you.
  • Be understanding of others view, and don’t be judgmental.
  • Be some ones SUNSHINE.
  • Be a SILVER LINING in some ones cloud.
  • Be a LIGHT for some one in need.

So, don’t wait for HAPPINESS to come to you.

START SPREADING HAPPINESS AROUND YOU WHEREVER YOU ALL ARE, IT WILL ULTIMATELY COME BACK TO YOU AND YOU WILL FEEL IMMENSE PEACE.

THE HAPPIEST DAY

Thinking of a happiest day in your life, certainly do bring a rush of memories. I say rush because the usually are a blur as we are so excited that we rush through it. Well it certainly is a pray that they last a life time. But if not, than we have to make the best of each day that comes by.

Yes, it is upon us to make things happen, for our sake only, not to please people or to make them happy. If we ourselves are not contended and satisfied from inside we will definitely be not able to share that happiness of bring happiness to others.

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Be thankful of what you had, and what you have and continue on with the life’s journey. Ups and downs do come in life, but they teach us lessons. Importantly we should be thankful for the blessings and stand high when faced with difficulties. The day you accomplish and direct your life towards thankfulness, that day onwards you will decide for yourself a much happier life.

ARE YOU HAVING A LOW OPINION OF YOURSELF?

 “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. Eleanor Roosevelt.

 

Independent of your successes, failures or the opinion of others, the way you appreciate, value, accept yourselves is SELF-WORTH. Self-worth means that you have a favorable opinion of yourself and that you believe that you have a right to feel positive of yourself. And for doing so your actions, thoughts and beliefs are the milestones.

 

If you are experiencing or going through:

 

□       Low feeling.

□       Depression.

□       Mood swings.

□       Feeling bad about being judged by others.

□       Not able to control/handle situations.

□       Dissatisfied with self or life.

□       Feeling of helplessness.

□       Unable to maintain social life.

 

It means that you are having low self- worth and you need to take actions to improve it.

 

If you are having low self-worth, you certainly can change your current state.

 

  •   Only you are responsible for your success.
  •   It’s okay to make mistakes.
  •   Only you have control on your future.
  •  Positive thinking leads to positive actions.

 

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Give meaning to your life and live a happy life.

THINKING NEGATIVELY

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We do face the problem of negative thinking. It might be due to any incident or event that has occurred and we find ourselves in the midst of negative thinking pattern. Sometimes it is so over-powering that it controls every aspect of our lives.

Personal beliefs, our principles and morals are the basis of our thoughts. Our low mood triggers negative thoughts and forms a chain reaction if we are unable to identify and stop it.

Become aware of your thought processes, simply acknowledging that they exist, helps in managing the negative thoughts. Our thoughts are automatic and fast, they keep on popping up and bombarding us, more so when they are negative.
 Thoughts that are more stressful or depressing should be dealt with first. Think about it, as they are the root cause of your negativity. When our beliefs are not matched with the outside world the distress creeps in. Identify the cause behind stress, despair and depression.
 Negative thoughts lead to negative outcomes. If you are depressed you will be thinking of negative outcomes, like failure in exams, unable to submit assignments on time, inability to concentrate, hopelessness etc. In order to break free of this destructive negative thinking pattern, become aware how they work and on what bases.
 Beliefs and values should be your main focus, as to see from where negative thinking is generating. Try to get control of things and situations before they become over whelming.
 Be optimistic, as it plays a key role in addressing negative thinking. The optimistic person accepts the facts and searches for solutions, while a pessimist attributes the factors that are not even in the situation, thus making the problem bigger than it was in reality.
 Focus on positive emotions and feelings, and replace the old thoughts by it. Think creatively and positively of the solutions, set achievable goals, and move away from negative triggers in the environment. Manage your negative emotions and feelings, this takes time, and your stress or depression will not simply vanish after it. But you will learn how to be a positive thinker.

If you continue to be negative, you will be attracting more negativity in life.
Let go of it and surround yourself with positive thoughts, you will be much happier.

Happiness Research

“Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see in touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy, it is that which we think, feel and do, first for the other fellow than for ourselves”,  Hellen Keller.

The terms associated with happiness are momentary joy, satisfaction with life, long term enjoyment. It is a positive state; which refers to relaxed, elated or calm. It is mediated by the person’s system of values and cognitive interpretive structures. Some predictors of happiness are; social competence, social skills, and cooperativeness, satisfaction with relationship with people from whom support has been received and engagement in serious leisure activity and sense of achievement.

It is the sense of acceptance with things, people and situations, and even with ourselves which makes us happy. Acceptance makes our lives easier and helps us in coming to terms with people and situation. If we are contended with what we are, and have acceptance of our successes and failures, and of the people among whom we live, of the situations and events which we go through in our daily life we would certainly feel happiness and calmness in us. Think about the people we love in our life, do we love them the way they are. It develops acceptance in us, by loving the person the way he/she is.

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful”, Albert Schweitzer.

Throughout our lives we run after money and do everything possible in order to gain more of it, in the mean while sacrificing our family life. Researches done recently negate this theory. Over the life cycle as income increases and then levels off, happiness remain unchanged, contradicting the inference that income and happiness go together.

It doesn’t matter to which socioeconomic status you belong, whether you are married or single, male or female, happiness is not going to be predicted by any of these factors. The differences among the happiness level of male and female, whether they are married or not are fast decreasing. Lyubomirsky, Seccombe and Shehan concluded that, the “happiness gap” has decreased both because those who have never married have experienced increasing happiness, and those married have experienced decreasing happiness along with no significant relationship between gender and happiness. The difference in happiness between married people and people who never married has fallen in recent years, as found in research done by Dr Anjum and Parisa Khan.

Some steps can be taken in order to have more satisfying life:

(1)  Positive things that happened:

Go through the events of the whole week and screen out the things whose outcomes were positive. Count your blessings, and focus on them. Be optimistic, as it keeps away the negative thoughts from entering into your mind.

(2)  Pay gratitude visit:

Write a testimonial thanking your mentor, teacher, friend, your parent, grandparents or anyone whom you owe a debt of gratitude for guiding you or helping you in anyway. Don’t wait to express your appreciation.

Seligman says; “the people who show their gratitude towards someone, even just once, are remarkably happier and less depressed a month later”.

(3)  Commit acts of kindness:

Be kind and generous to others, whether friends or strangers, and also show kindness toward yourself. We often are kind to complete strangers but when we reach home we turn into an angry person. Because we become relax and in the mean while forget basic kindness and gentleness. Just being kind to others fill us up with positive feeling and gives us a sense of connection with others and wins us smiles and appreciation which are happiness boosters.

(4)  Reduce stress:  

We feel unhappy, angry, irrational, depressed, and anxious, have low self esteem, become impatient and are easily frustrated. Take control of your life and distress yourself. Take deep breath and relax yourself, think rationally while in control of yourself.

Communication also plays a vital role in reducing stress. Talk to someone whom you are close to, be it your friend, parent or life partner. Sharing your problem, ideas, and fears or even discussing about the future or your aspirations with someone close helps in reducing stress.

(5)  Recharge yourself by eating healthy:   

Recharge by getting plenty of sleep, exercising, and breathing fresh air, walking, stretching, smiling and laughing. These all will enhance your mood and refresh your mind. Eat healthy food, green leafy vegetables, drink fresh juices.

(6)  Set goals and identify your strengths and weaknesses:

Setting goals and aims helps us in identifying our strengths and weaknesses. “Writing about your goals gives you an opportunity to learn about who you really are”, says Lyubomirsky, “It helps you to see the big picture of your life”.

“People spend a life time searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, religions, even other people, hopping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within” Romana L. Anderson.

Courtesy:  Subjective happiness of married and unmarried males and females and personality types. (Journal of Social Sciences and Humanities, University of Karachi).

GRATITUDE

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“Gratitude opens the door to….the power, the wisdom, the creativity of the universe. You open the door through gratitude” — DEEPAK CHOPRA.

Gratitude is a state of thankfulness and appreciation, to things that are valuable and important to oneself. Gratitude makes us realize and appreciate what good things we have inn our lives, which we sometimes tend to forget. It helps us in connecting to ourselves, to people who are around us, to the wonders of nature.

In Positive Psychology, Gratitude is the basis for happiness, for feeling happy from within, and for feeling more positive emotions, eradicating the negative ones, making us relish good experiences, making a positive change and making stronger to with stand adversity, and have a larger good impact on the health and over all well being. Gratitude becomes the basis for strong and positive basis for relationships, strengthening the bond.

According to Psychologists and Behaviorists, Gratitude holds that the happiest people are the ones who choose to be happy by showing gratitude regardless of the circumstances. It changes the mindset of the person, and the person start view self, and the world in a new brighter perspective. Numerous researchers like Sonja Lyubomirsky who is a happiness expert suggests that in order to be happy, practice gratitude as it increases your happiness level. It increases the positive attitude you have towards life, bring in enthusiasm, joy and optimism and you start living your life to the fullest.

Gratitude strengthens the relationships, when you as a partner express your gratitude, towards other, they become more satisfied with the relationship, thus developing a stronger bond. Gratitude helps in relaxing your mind, and you become more open to new ideas and wonders, look into your problems with a new light, which helps in making you non judgmental towards yourself and others, thus approaching to solve problems in a better manner.

Start by:

  • keeping a gratitude journal.
  • thanking someone mentally, and wishing them well.
  • count the blessing you have.
  • write a thank you note, for expressing gratitude.
  • thank God for your blessings.
  • Start your day by appreciating things that you have in our life, no matter how big or small they are.

I’m currently reading this wonderful book and I’m on the first chapter. Do read it 🙂

http://thesecret.tv/themagic/

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LETTING GO OF HURT

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The things that happened in the past, may it some emotional trauma, physical abuse, being hurt by someone deeply, some profound loss caused by someone, treated badly, a terrible heartache, which lead you to depression, left you broken, emotionally drained, low self esteem, loss of faith in people, feeling of physical and emotional stress, and lead you to have suicidal thoughts.

As these things happen, we ask ourselves, are we really ready to let go of the hurt, the emotional trauma we have being through.even if we come to terms of what happened to us is just over and we look ahead to life, we are still nagged by that traumatizing event in our life.

So, do you think it really is over? Have you really let go of the past?

I guess not. That is why you are visited by the demons of your past, which makes you unhappy now, sad now, and you weep when the thought crosses your mind. It is still haunting you and snatching away the happiness that you can have now in the present, and may be you are still having a strained relationship with that person, or perhaps it is distracting you from your work at hand, snatching away the chance to live your life to the fullest.

Oscar Wilde said, “Always forgive your enemies — nothing annoys them so much.”

Forgiving someone means that you understand your anger towards them, understand what it had cost you, and you analyze what further it will cost you in future too, and how it is affecting your present. You acknowledge how it has made you the hostage  and how it is manipulating your emotions, your chance to be happy now in the present.

the only thing we feel satisfied and relaxed in is showing anger towards that person, or hatred towards people who brought the miseries in your life. That is the only defense mechanism we work with, and don’t see how we can easily come out of it, if we tried some other things, some other way of handling that past event.

As, it is in our own hands to be happy, and our happiness depends on us. Continuing with some resentment makes us more depressive.

Its about time that the hurt is let go of. To live again, to be happy again.

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Letting go, doesn’t mean that you are not strong enough to stand and continue on fighting. It means that you are strong enough, and are wiser, to let go of past which not significant in your present and in your future. You think of the reasons behind the person who hurt you, whys, and whats. Screen out and understand why it all happened, empathize.

Understand that you are through with it, and you are ready to let go of hurt it caused you, the heartache you have being through, and are choosing something more significant in your life, the PRESENT, HAPPINESS.

Let the doors open for happiness to come in, for trust to be built again, for love to come and embrace you. 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi.

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I firmly believe in this quote:

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A NEW MORNING

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Each morning brings a new chance to love yourself, to do things which you want to do, to help others, to actualize your potentials, to ask for forgiveness, to forgive people who hurt you, and to set new directions for reaching your goals.

It is only in your hand to let go of the past, as it has no value now, because it is gone forever, you can only change what is today or tomorrow. Each day brings a fresh opportunity to live it to the fullest, to change the things we want to, to love a little more, to give more, living in moment and making it memorable for years to come.

Choose your words wisely, make your decisions in full knowledge, love fully, letting go of hurt, and cherishing every moment and making it worthwhile. Each day is a blessing, so make most of it, it is no wonder if you treat your day as a blessing, you will look forward to it, you would want to make it a good and profitable one. One which is rich in knowledge, love, happiness, and enriching in every manner.

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HAPPINESS OF MARRIED AND UNMARRIED

“Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see in touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy, it is that which we think, feel and do, first for the other fellow than for ourselves”,  Helen Keller.

The terms associated with happiness are momentary joy, satisfaction with life, long term enjoyment. It is a positive state; which refers to relaxed, elated or calm. It is mediated by the person’s system of values and cognitive interpretive structures. Some predictors of happiness are; social competence, social skills, and cooperativeness, satisfaction with relationships with people from whom support has been received and engagement in serious leisure activity and sense of achievement.

 It is the sense of acceptance with things, people and situations, and even with ourselves which makes us happy. Acceptance makes our lives easier and helps us in coming to terms with people and the situation. If we are contended with what we are, and have acceptance of our successes and failures, and of the people among whom we live, of the situations and events which we go through in our daily life we would certainly feel happiness and calmness in us. Think about the people we love in our life, do we love them the way they are. It develops acceptance in us, by loving the person the way he/she is.

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful”, Albert Schweitzer.

Throughout our lives we run after money and do everything possible in order to gain more of it, in the meanwhile sacrificing our family life. Researches done recently negate this theory. Over the life cycle as income increases and then levels off, happiness remains unchanged, contradicting the inference that income and happiness go together.

 It doesn’t matter to which socioeconomic status you belong, whether you are married or single, male or female, happiness is not going to be predicted by any of these factors. The differences between the happiness level of male and female, whether they are married or not are fast decreasing. Lyubomirsky, Seccombe and Shehan concluded that, the “happiness gap” has decreased both because those who have never married have experienced increasing happiness, and those married have experienced decreasing happiness along with no significant relationship between gender and happiness. The difference in happiness between married people and people who never married has fallen in recent years, as found in research.

Some steps can be taken in order to have a more satisfying life:

(1)   Positive things that happened:

Go through the events of the whole week and screen out the things whose outcomes were positive. Count your blessings, and focus on them. Be optimistic, as it keeps away the negative thoughts from entering into your mind.

(2)   Pay gratitude visit:

Write a testimonial thanking your mentor, teacher, friend, your parent, grandparents or anyone whom you owe a debt of gratitude for guiding you or helping you in any way. Don’t wait to express your appreciation.

Seligman says; “the people who show their gratitude towards someone, even just once, are remarkably happier and less depressed a month later”.

(3)   Commit acts of kindness:   

Be kind and generous to others, whether friends or strangers, and also show kindness toward yourself. We often are kind to complete strangers but when we reach home we turn into an angry person. Because we become relaxed and in the meanwhile forget basic kindness and gentleness. Just being kind to others fill us up with positive feelings and gives us a sense of connection with others and wins us smiles and appreciation which are happiness boosters.

(4)   Reduce stress:  

We feel unhappy, angry, irrational, depressed, and anxious, have low self esteem, become impatient and are easily frustrated. Take control of your life and distress yourself. Take a deep breath and relax yourself, think rationally while in control of yourself.

Communication also plays a vital role in reducing stress. Talk to someone whom you are close to, be it your friend, parent or life partner. Sharing your problem, ideas, and fears or even discussing about the future or your aspirations with someone close helps in reducing stress.

(5)   Recharge yourself by eating healthy:    

Recharge by getting plenty of sleep, exercising, and breathing fresh air, walking, stretching, smiling and laughing. These all will enhance your mood and refresh your mind. Eat healthy food, green leafy vegetables, drink fresh juices.

(6)   Set goals and identify your strengths and weaknesses: 

Setting goals and aims helps us in identifying our strengths and weaknesses. “Writing about your goals gives you an opportunity to learn about who you really are”, says Lyubomirsky, “It helps you to see the big picture of your life”.

“People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within” Romana L. Anderson.

YOU ARE WORTHY

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Have you been feeling down lately. Worrying, what others think of you, and about the way you spend your life.

You really do need to focus here. See what words I used in above sentence “the way you spend your life”. It means it is your life, and no one has anything to do with it. Self worth comes from within, and no one else can fix it for you. And self worth is not linked to how rich you are, how much money you earn, how many cars you have, your social status, etc.

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You cannot make anyone to be a judge on your behavior, your aspirations, your goals, your life. It is your own, and you have all the power to exercise it, the way you want it to. It is your own opinion about yourself that counts. Other peoples opinions can not be in any way the yard stick for your worth. The way you perceive yourself, what value you think you have in your own eyes, counts.

It is only this realization, that helps you in defining and understanding of your actions, your strengths and weaknesses, your attitude towards life in general.

“Your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you like yourself.” ~ Lululemon.

Only through reflecting, knowing your talents and taking control of your life, ignoring what others think of you, can lead you to your destiny, to a path that you think is best for you. Know that you are not here to impress or please anyone, or to dance on someone else’s tune. Seek affirmations of your attitude towards life, from yourself, as you alone knows what is best for you. Then take the path that is more enlightening for yourself, based on your own judgement, capabilities and desire.

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