IMPORTANCE OF GOALS IN LIFE

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects”……ALBERT EINSTEIN.

If you look around you might notice that there are some people who work hard and are in a continuous process of determination, putting in effort, BUT they don’t seem to get anywhere worth mentioning. They live their life aimlessly, not knowing where to go, and their all efforts are not enough to meet their destiny.

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score”………… Bill Copeland

GOAL setting is very important, it gives you a sense of direction, a path to follow, shows you a way to reach your destiny. It provides insight in problems, in ways of handling your present and shaping your future. It helps you in knowing what you really want from your life, and what you want to achieve in life. It tells you which step you took, that were wrong, or would you can do to take a different alternative path, and make you see things clearly, shaping you entire LIFE. You than put all your efforts in the right direction knowing that will help you in achieving your motives.

Goal setting help you in motivating yourself, and you analyse your steps that you have to take, it helps you in making an action plan, giving you MEANINGFUL LIFE.

You can realize your dreams, attain heights of your desire and wishes, keep yourself happy and those associated with you. You taste success, happiness and inner satisfaction.

Goals help you in having a satisfied life, managing your finances, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, provide you inner growth, enhances your creativity and much more.

“The power of goals can only be felt when you make goals and taste success”……… PARISA KHAN.

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ADOLESCENTS PROBLEMS

Adolescence is the stage marked between the period of puberty and adulthood, normal ranges from thirteen years to nineteen years., that too depends on the cultures and societies of which we are a part of.

Adolescence is the change or you can say transition period from childhood to adulthood. When numerous changes are taking place, morphological, anatomical, educational and psychological. At this time the peer pressure increases, awareness of opposite sex and their development is identified.

There are a large number of adolescents facing problems like, violence, poverty, abuses, maladjustment, family problems, etc. These problems sometimes lead to behavioral problems, rebelliousness, decrease in school grades, depression, traumas, shoplifting, drugs and alcohol ingestion.

  • identify the problem.
  • identify the reason behind the problem.
  • brainstorm the solutions for the problem.
  • evaluate the solutions that is applicable and practicable according to the problem.

GRATITUDE

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“Gratitude opens the door to….the power, the wisdom, the creativity of the universe. You open the door through gratitude” — DEEPAK CHOPRA.

Gratitude is a state of thankfulness and appreciation, to things that are valuable and important to oneself. Gratitude makes us realize and appreciate what good things we have inn our lives, which we sometimes tend to forget. It helps us in connecting to ourselves, to people who are around us, to the wonders of nature.

In Positive Psychology, Gratitude is the basis for happiness, for feeling happy from within, and for feeling more positive emotions, eradicating the negative ones, making us relish good experiences, making a positive change and making stronger to with stand adversity, and have a larger good impact on the health and over all well being. Gratitude becomes the basis for strong and positive basis for relationships, strengthening the bond.

According to Psychologists and Behaviorists, Gratitude holds that the happiest people are the ones who choose to be happy by showing gratitude regardless of the circumstances. It changes the mindset of the person, and the person start view self, and the world in a new brighter perspective. Numerous researchers like Sonja Lyubomirsky who is a happiness expert suggests that in order to be happy, practice gratitude as it increases your happiness level. It increases the positive attitude you have towards life, bring in enthusiasm, joy and optimism and you start living your life to the fullest.

Gratitude strengthens the relationships, when you as a partner express your gratitude, towards other, they become more satisfied with the relationship, thus developing a stronger bond. Gratitude helps in relaxing your mind, and you become more open to new ideas and wonders, look into your problems with a new light, which helps in making you non judgmental towards yourself and others, thus approaching to solve problems in a better manner.

Start by:

  • keeping a gratitude journal.
  • thanking someone mentally, and wishing them well.
  • count the blessing you have.
  • write a thank you note, for expressing gratitude.
  • thank God for your blessings.
  • Start your day by appreciating things that you have in our life, no matter how big or small they are.

I’m currently reading this wonderful book and I’m on the first chapter. Do read it 🙂

http://thesecret.tv/themagic/

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COPING SKILLS

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You may find yourself frequently in situations that are troublesome, to demanding, pull on your nerves, pushes you to your nerves end, unbearable, stressful, anxiety provoking, or depressing.

USEFULNESS OF COPING STRATEGIES:

Every situation bring forward a different set of coping mechanism, that you can put into use, in order to deal effectively with the current situation, which is bothering you. It is important that you find out the right set of coping strategies that works best with your needs and your present situation. positive coping mechanism helps in tackling with the hand-on challenges effectively, making you more prepared and strong, while you find out ways to deal with the  stressful situation.

EFFECTIVE COPING STRATEGIES:

Some strategies are based on long term, short term, relief while others focus on increasing your confidence, preparing you to be strong, while some increase your motivation levels. the coping strategies help in defusing the stress and anxiety level, your apprehensions and upsetting emotions. Maturity is also an ruling factor in coping, the more mature and realistic you are the more effective your coping style would be. Coping strategies are behavioral patterns that we analyze and learn according to our requirements. People develop positive coping mechanism to have a better life and face difficulties and problems in an effective manner. Stay away from negativity, and negative coping mechanism, as they are harmful in the long run, like engaging in emotional eating, gambling, irrational thinking, drugs, denial of situation etc.

COPING STRATEGIES:

  • analyze the situation, the current circumstances will define what strategies to apply.
  • ask for help, form someone you trust, who understands you, or a professional help.
  • give yourself a time out, and try to relax in that time.
  • learn form your mistakes and try not to commit it again.
  • be honest to your feelings and emotions. Understand what you are going through  and how you feel for it.
  • learn and practice mindfulness.
  • develop skills to deal effectively with others.
  • develop management techniques.
  • engage in healthy activities, sports, exercise, hobbies.
  • develop patience.
  • develop an insight.
  • learn to laugh often.

MINDFUL QUOTE

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Mindfulness is a non judgmental awareness of your inner self and your outer world. Observation of your thoughts, your emotions, the bodily reactions, understanding of your attitudes, your personality and sensations.

  • Sit down and relax in a position which is comfortable for you.
  • Try to focus, and take deep slow breaths.
  • Close your eyes if you want to, it help you in connecting with your inner self.
  • Now start by becoming aware of your sensations with each breath you take.
  • In order to focus, you can also count your breaths.
  • Relax your body as you exercise the breath counting technique.
  • Become more peaceful and relaxed in your breathing stage.
  • Awaken your senses.
  • Listen to noises around you, and absorb them.

Try out other mindfulness activities too, like mindful eating, mindful awareness, mindful listening, mindful walking and many more things. The key is to concentrate to the present, to what you are doing at that time, becoming aware of who you, and completing yourself. 

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MINDFUL ATTITUDE TOWARDS LIFE

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Mindfulness is the favorite topic of discussion and learning in psychology these days. It is now considered an effective technique to becoming aware of yourself, without being judgmental  enjoying your present moment, reducing your stress, becoming conscious of your sensations, feeling and emotions.

If you become aware and conscious of yourself and your behavior, and what you are doing in the present moment, you will notice that you are engaged in so many mindless activities, like, nail biting  pulling strand of your hair, emotional eating, day dreaming, plucking your eye lashes, tearing skin of your thumb perhaps and many more. we resume to all these activities when we are not feeling emotionally stable, or perhaps thinking about something which is stressful or beyond our powers to control, perhaps when nervous. We are so engrossed in it, that we hardly become aware of it.

Mindfulness is becoming aware of your body, making a connection between mind and body, our emotions and feelings, becoming aware of the present moment, while removing the distractions, paying attention to the present, stopping and breathing, and connecting with inner-self.

In today’s busy world be are so involved in technology that we hardly notice of whats happening around us, not noticing what we are eating, not able to finger point why we are feeling stressed or depressed, and not even ready to let go of it. we divert our attention more to TV, Cellphones, laptops, computers, iPad in order to keep busy, while the problem the root cause remains the same.

Mindfulness helps in eliminating many psychological problems, depression, stress, anxiety, lowering your blood pressure, make you breath in a relaxed way, making you aware of what you put in your mouth, and making your emotionally charged self, a calm one. By focusing on your present and staying connected to here and now, makes you less jumpy, less preoccupied with unwanted negative thoughts, develops your ability to be connected to yourself and helps in understanding others and developing better relations with them.

It helps in:

  • Have a relaxed state of mind, open to curiosity towards your feelings, openness to understand your emotions. it leads to being happy, as you know your negative feelings and reasons behind it, and you look at other positive ways to remove those negative thoughts. 
  • You become aware of your present, and whats happening at that present time. Helps in bringing things to perspective.
  • It increases your awareness about your own self.
  • It helps in making you realize that negative emotions or feeling are part of life, just as setbacks, and they pass and start focusing on more positive thoughts.
  • When you become aware of your emotions, volatile they may be, you come to know that they are baseless.
  • It helps in developing acceptance of your self.
  • You become aware of your bodily needs.
  • Make you acknowledge you emotional eating pattern.
  • Make you more calm and peaceful.
  • It helps in facilitating in having good relationship.
  • You learn to manage your stress or negative thoughts.
  • It improves your concentration ability.

 Have mindfulness and have a better life. 

PARENTS, YOUR LIFE

Parents are  your whole life. They teach you how to be happy with small things that you have. They are there whenever you need them, no matter how old you are, or have kids of your own. They care for you no matter if their own health is down the hill. They wake up at night to pray for your success when you are in your school and latter on in other phases of life too. They guide you, build your personality, make you confident. They teach you the difference between right and wrong paths. They cry when you are hurt or sad. Work hard day and night, so that you get the best of everything, they have in their means, thus, they do all the things they can and beyond too, just to see that you stand on your own feet, and lead a life on your own. Thus, they are every step of the way, praying for you all the time. 

RELATIONSHIPS ARE PRECIOUS

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Every relationship begins with excitement, joy, and long time life commitments are made by both partners. Building up a healthy understanding is crucial in the beginning, which lays a foundation stone for years to come. Give time to each other exclusively  without any other commitments, try to understand the nature of the partner, grew close in a loving relationship.

Once the relationship is established  after a sometime, it seems a drag. We all know a few bumps and down the hill factors come in ones marriages, that is the normal thing, and nothing to be depressive about.

The main things is to recognize them at the right time, and deal with it without taking sides, in a rational and practical manner. It is the couples responsibility to understand the problems, which they are having, and try to sit together and sort them out in a positive manner, keeping in view the marriage, and how they want to make it successful.

While living together, we get to know, how the other person works in different situations, what make the other partner ticks, what are the things that the partner likes and what he/she dislikes, what is the nature of the other person. This helps a lot in approaching the issue, and resolving it in a sensible manner.

Most of the problems arise from poor communication, where the partners have lack of communication and are unable to express their feelings, or are unable to share things. This doesn’t happen in one day, it starts and is noticed later on. It is important for both the partners to identify this issue early, and should never close channels of communication, expressing ones feelings, emotions and thoughts. 

If are having a strained relationship, give it time, put in more efforts to make each other happy, be around at time of need, show your love, and concern, don’t let your partner be in a withdrawn state.

Start by:

  • Understand to which background and lifestyle your partner belongs to, it will make things easier for you to handle and understand. Everyone is different in showing emotions and reacting to things, some are over joyous  have more descriptive ability, some show more love and demand it in return to, while some are overly angry sort.
  • Don’t push your presence on the other person. Everyone has their own personal space, and like to exercise it to. Giving someone space doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t love you, rather it is a more mature way of living.
  • Don’t force your likes and dislikes on your partner. If you are doing that, it will definitely crush their happiness. As no one is same, than how can the likes and dislikes for things can be similar. Let the partner have freedom of expression  and never try to force your thinking on him/her.
  • It is reminded to us from time and again, not to have expectations. It is true too in marriage as well. Cut down on expectations as they really, if they are not met. 
  • Everyone has their own point of view, so why not you 2 have as well. Accepting others view is important. Try to find out what your partner means by a certain thing he/she said. What was the reason behind that thinking, it will make it easier for you to understand that view point. There is no point in fighting over a thinking pattern either of you have. Even if you do not agree what other have said, just accept it or provide a rational statement, and avoid having an argument.
  • Stop relying on technology to express your feelings. I certainly not believe on Telephone conversation, as you never know what mood the other person is in. Rather set up a time to relax and sharing. Take time out from your responsibilities and spend quality time with each other, which is uninterrupted by phones, TV, or other such techno stuff. 
  • Sometimes it is advisable to be just quiet and make your partner feel relax too. if you are having an argument and knows no matter what you say, your partner will not listen, give in, and stay calm. It doesn’t mean that yo are wrong, it means you are responsible enough to make your relationship work and love your partner.
  • Don’t assume that your partner will judge our mood and your thinking, and will act accordingly. Speaking up and expressing yourself puts your emotions in a better light, rather than staying in a  MUM state. 
  • Spend sometime alone, in relaxing and going out, doing things that you like, it freshens you up, which is very positive.
  • Develop trust in your partner, and trusting your partner as well. Never leave any room for doubt.
  • If you are having doubts, speak up and let your partner know, sort hem out in a relaxed manner.
  • Don’t be criticizing all  the time, whether its your husband or your wife. No one is perfect, understand the persons strengths and weaknesses and accept them.
  • Apologizing doesn’t make you small, it means that you care enough.
  • You can never truly love someone, by changing them. So stop thinking that way.
  • Plan holidays where the two of you can have exclusive time for each other, this helps in strong bonding, which is essential in marriage.
  • Rekindle your love time and again.

Never leave a true relation for few small faults.
Nobody is perfect,nobody is correct… and Remember affection is always greater than perfection…”

 

 

GIVE IT ALL

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Life comes with all sort of complexities, and demands, which the person has to resolve in order to be SOMEONE. Only when he or she wants to, it can not be forced from the second party. It depends only on the person what they want from life, whether its short term goals or the long ones.

Hard times comes in everyone’s life, but the way we deal with it defines our PERSONALITY, and set future course of our life pattern. Direct your life in a positive direction in order to lead a happy life. People who are giving in to situations and matters, that are difficult for them to handle, will always have an unhappy with their life, as they will never be contended. 

“Giving up”  things means that you are not prepared to deal with it, and opting out is considered as an easy way out, from that situation. Here I am not focusing on arguments, in which we engage every now and then. I am shedding a light on personality and related behavior pattern.

Giving up means you are with drawing yourself on basis of some possibilities. Giving up means you have no resilience, and you will always search for easy ways to get out of it. But how come you know that you are going to fail, until and unless you try it out. And even if you do fail, you have at least as sense of satisfaction, that you did your best, and you learn a lesson in doing it so. Be it a relationship that you value most, exam which you are attempting again, going through a rough patch in life, facing hurdles in job market etc.

Motivation, persistence, and believing that you are doing your best to make things work is the key to achieving your goals. Stand up to the challenges, to adversity, and don’t look for back doors. You will be harming yourself and others around you.

Giving in means you are not ready mentally and physically to take the pressure, and you end up making everyone else in-charge of your life. Accepting things and following decision or choices which are forced your way. You don’t have the courage to speak up, due to the pressure on you. But remember here that its you, who made other people in-charge of your life. By your submissive personality you are allowing others to direct your life in a direction where you don’t want to go. If you do that, you will be unhappy the rest of your life, brooding and have no sense of accomplishment.

As I always say, LIFE COMES BY ONLY ONE TIME, MAKE YOUR CHOICES WISELY. 

Give your best in everything you do, the relationships you engage in, the career you choose for yourself, etc. If you don’t try, you will never know, what the end result is. Facing failure doesn’t means that you are not good enough, rather it defines, that you are strong enough to see it to the very end, and still stay strong for improving it.

Take breaks, to revive your energy, to think over things, to relax and let go of negativity, and focusing things and thinking out possible actions to take. By having a break your mind will be fresh, and you will feel motivated, have positive thoughts, and make your self believe that you can do it, provided you give it a best shot with dedication.

So, why not give your best to things and do your best, by defining your life, the way you want to, in order to be satisfied and contended with sense of achievement. 

KNOWING THAT YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR OWN FATE.