SPREADING HAPPINESS

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I believe in this saying.

I think when you share people’s problem, listen to them with open heart, give a shoulder to cry on and supporting them in whatever you can, you make them happy and ultimately it bring HAPPINESS to you.

HAPPINESS doesn’t mean that you have account full of money, a luxurious home to live in, perfect kids, perfect spouse and a dream job.

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NO!!!!

HAPPINESS is spreading HAPPINESS.

Content with what you have, no matter how little it is. And still you care for others you help them out in their lives and still keep on moving with yours. THAT IS REAL HAPPINESS.

Carrying out small ACTS OF KINDNESS and SMILING at people to show them love and care makes your day. IT WORKS FOR ME.

I am alhumdulilah what I always wanted to be, and each day I try to achieve whatever is there in my capacity no matter how big or small it is, to spread happiness, to make people feel loved, and cared for.

It brings back immense HAPPINESS when people say that thank you you made my day, thank you for listening it means a lot, thank you for guiding we will try it out, thank you for just being there. I feel so blessed and I thank ALMIGHTY ALLAH for choosing me to do something for humanity, though its not much.

It gives me solitude, brings peace to me.

We just need a good smile in morning to make us feel better, a pat on the back that we are not alone, a compassionate hand to know that we are not walking alone, a good greet to realize that we can make it.

Every small gesture counts, a small act means a lot, it will become a habit, a behavior and will impact the society and community where people give a helping hand to each other in order to spread HAPPINESS.

START BY:

  •  Saying a Happy HI!
  • Greet people GOOD MORNING even when you don’t know them.
  • Be a listening ear.
  • Thank people even for smallest gestures.
  • Give gifts.
  • Be a helping hand.
  • Support your community.
  • Be POSITIVE.
  • Inspire others by your smile.
  • Help out people who are in need.
  • Reach out to those who work for you.
  • Be understanding of others view, and don’t be judgmental.
  • Be some ones SUNSHINE.
  • Be a SILVER LINING in some ones cloud.
  • Be a LIGHT for some one in need.

So, don’t wait for HAPPINESS to come to you.

START SPREADING HAPPINESS AROUND YOU WHEREVER YOU ALL ARE, IT WILL ULTIMATELY COME BACK TO YOU AND YOU WILL FEEL IMMENSE PEACE.

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LETTING GO OF HURT

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The things that happened in the past, may it some emotional trauma, physical abuse, being hurt by someone deeply, some profound loss caused by someone, treated badly, a terrible heartache, which lead you to depression, left you broken, emotionally drained, low self esteem, loss of faith in people, feeling of physical and emotional stress, and lead you to have suicidal thoughts.

As these things happen, we ask ourselves, are we really ready to let go of the hurt, the emotional trauma we have being through.even if we come to terms of what happened to us is just over and we look ahead to life, we are still nagged by that traumatizing event in our life.

So, do you think it really is over? Have you really let go of the past?

I guess not. That is why you are visited by the demons of your past, which makes you unhappy now, sad now, and you weep when the thought crosses your mind. It is still haunting you and snatching away the happiness that you can have now in the present, and may be you are still having a strained relationship with that person, or perhaps it is distracting you from your work at hand, snatching away the chance to live your life to the fullest.

Oscar Wilde said, “Always forgive your enemies — nothing annoys them so much.”

Forgiving someone means that you understand your anger towards them, understand what it had cost you, and you analyze what further it will cost you in future too, and how it is affecting your present. You acknowledge how it has made you the hostage  and how it is manipulating your emotions, your chance to be happy now in the present.

the only thing we feel satisfied and relaxed in is showing anger towards that person, or hatred towards people who brought the miseries in your life. That is the only defense mechanism we work with, and don’t see how we can easily come out of it, if we tried some other things, some other way of handling that past event.

As, it is in our own hands to be happy, and our happiness depends on us. Continuing with some resentment makes us more depressive.

Its about time that the hurt is let go of. To live again, to be happy again.

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Letting go, doesn’t mean that you are not strong enough to stand and continue on fighting. It means that you are strong enough, and are wiser, to let go of past which not significant in your present and in your future. You think of the reasons behind the person who hurt you, whys, and whats. Screen out and understand why it all happened, empathize.

Understand that you are through with it, and you are ready to let go of hurt it caused you, the heartache you have being through, and are choosing something more significant in your life, the PRESENT, HAPPINESS.

Let the doors open for happiness to come in, for trust to be built again, for love to come and embrace you. 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi.

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I firmly believe in this quote:

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PARENTS, YOUR LIFE

Parents are  your whole life. They teach you how to be happy with small things that you have. They are there whenever you need them, no matter how old you are, or have kids of your own. They care for you no matter if their own health is down the hill. They wake up at night to pray for your success when you are in your school and latter on in other phases of life too. They guide you, build your personality, make you confident. They teach you the difference between right and wrong paths. They cry when you are hurt or sad. Work hard day and night, so that you get the best of everything, they have in their means, thus, they do all the things they can and beyond too, just to see that you stand on your own feet, and lead a life on your own. Thus, they are every step of the way, praying for you all the time. 

SUCCESSFUL RAISING

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There is no fixed formula or pattern to raise a child. The parenting styles varies from child to child, depending on the nature of the parents, availability of the parents, and the nature of the child.

Be like the way, you want your child to be. Provide them with the right kind of environment, for growth, stability in emotions, and capability to think in a free manner. Every child has their own set of demands, which they want to be fulfilled. Some children express it in the gentle manner, while other show aggression. It is important mold them in a more appropriate and acceptable behavior.

There is certainly no need to jump in every now and then to be a dictator, laying down rules, being pushy and over observant. Children like to spend sometime alone, playing, where they do not want to be judged and told whether they are right or wrong. So, give them a little space, if they want to play alone or with other children, let them. Elbowing your way in is quiet embarrassing for your child, especially in presence of other children.

From the start show the importance of manners, by exercising it yourself, like, PLEASE, THANK YOU, WELCOME, GOOD MORNING, BLESS YOU etc. The child will observe you and follow course, once it is established at an early age, rest of the manner hierarchy is achieved on its own.

Refrain yourself from being over protective, let them do things on their own. This part is the difficult one, especially for mothers. I guess I did, the same, and was told to stop doing it, as it is not good for all the right reasons. I really is difficult to see your child having a hard time climbing and while coming down having a fall, where you can not stop yourself from providing all the help you can think up of. RESTRAIN. This is the greatest challenge I assume. Let them struggle, it will develop their ability to learn new tactics and improving their mistakes, and learning better ways to approach a problem.

In order to exercise some rules at home, it is better to have some discipline first, where the child knows what things are done in what manner. Whether they can play first or do they homework, or where they can watch cartoon endlessly or play outside, or do cycling. What I think works is, the TIME TABLE. It is not necessary to be very rigid, but the baseline is there for every one to follow. Even kids will automatically start thinking in that way. For example, they know in evenings they have to finish their school home work, they might like to watch a little TV for their Cartoon show, for which you can give them a little time, and they themselves will off TV and come to their work desks to finish off their work. IT REALLY WORKS, IT IS WORKING WITH ME.

Be warm and kind, hugging and loving your child and telling them that you love them do wonders for their emotions. Instead of being angry, take a deep breath and tell them assertively what is wrong behavior and which behavior is acceptable. Keep on practicing, it will work, Patience is the key in achieving everything, remember that.

Don’t ever scold or raise your voice on your child, in presence of others. This is the most humiliating thing that you can do, for embarrassing them. It is always better, to go down on your knees and explain that the behavior they are showing is not acceptable, if they need something, they should ask for it slowly and using the words like please. That’s what I do when my child is throwing a tantrum in supermarket. It do works.

Be there for your kids, spend  quality time with them, rather thinking that you can buy smiles by giving them toys etc. It doesn’t last in the long run. Kids do remember the sharing time, playing time as a family. Quality time means, that you switch off TV, put away your cell phone, and play with them, hear them out, listen to them carefully and respond them in the kindest manner possible.

 

 

 

 

RELATIONSHIPS ARE PRECIOUS

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Every relationship begins with excitement, joy, and long time life commitments are made by both partners. Building up a healthy understanding is crucial in the beginning, which lays a foundation stone for years to come. Give time to each other exclusively  without any other commitments, try to understand the nature of the partner, grew close in a loving relationship.

Once the relationship is established  after a sometime, it seems a drag. We all know a few bumps and down the hill factors come in ones marriages, that is the normal thing, and nothing to be depressive about.

The main things is to recognize them at the right time, and deal with it without taking sides, in a rational and practical manner. It is the couples responsibility to understand the problems, which they are having, and try to sit together and sort them out in a positive manner, keeping in view the marriage, and how they want to make it successful.

While living together, we get to know, how the other person works in different situations, what make the other partner ticks, what are the things that the partner likes and what he/she dislikes, what is the nature of the other person. This helps a lot in approaching the issue, and resolving it in a sensible manner.

Most of the problems arise from poor communication, where the partners have lack of communication and are unable to express their feelings, or are unable to share things. This doesn’t happen in one day, it starts and is noticed later on. It is important for both the partners to identify this issue early, and should never close channels of communication, expressing ones feelings, emotions and thoughts. 

If are having a strained relationship, give it time, put in more efforts to make each other happy, be around at time of need, show your love, and concern, don’t let your partner be in a withdrawn state.

Start by:

  • Understand to which background and lifestyle your partner belongs to, it will make things easier for you to handle and understand. Everyone is different in showing emotions and reacting to things, some are over joyous  have more descriptive ability, some show more love and demand it in return to, while some are overly angry sort.
  • Don’t push your presence on the other person. Everyone has their own personal space, and like to exercise it to. Giving someone space doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t love you, rather it is a more mature way of living.
  • Don’t force your likes and dislikes on your partner. If you are doing that, it will definitely crush their happiness. As no one is same, than how can the likes and dislikes for things can be similar. Let the partner have freedom of expression  and never try to force your thinking on him/her.
  • It is reminded to us from time and again, not to have expectations. It is true too in marriage as well. Cut down on expectations as they really, if they are not met. 
  • Everyone has their own point of view, so why not you 2 have as well. Accepting others view is important. Try to find out what your partner means by a certain thing he/she said. What was the reason behind that thinking, it will make it easier for you to understand that view point. There is no point in fighting over a thinking pattern either of you have. Even if you do not agree what other have said, just accept it or provide a rational statement, and avoid having an argument.
  • Stop relying on technology to express your feelings. I certainly not believe on Telephone conversation, as you never know what mood the other person is in. Rather set up a time to relax and sharing. Take time out from your responsibilities and spend quality time with each other, which is uninterrupted by phones, TV, or other such techno stuff. 
  • Sometimes it is advisable to be just quiet and make your partner feel relax too. if you are having an argument and knows no matter what you say, your partner will not listen, give in, and stay calm. It doesn’t mean that yo are wrong, it means you are responsible enough to make your relationship work and love your partner.
  • Don’t assume that your partner will judge our mood and your thinking, and will act accordingly. Speaking up and expressing yourself puts your emotions in a better light, rather than staying in a  MUM state. 
  • Spend sometime alone, in relaxing and going out, doing things that you like, it freshens you up, which is very positive.
  • Develop trust in your partner, and trusting your partner as well. Never leave any room for doubt.
  • If you are having doubts, speak up and let your partner know, sort hem out in a relaxed manner.
  • Don’t be criticizing all  the time, whether its your husband or your wife. No one is perfect, understand the persons strengths and weaknesses and accept them.
  • Apologizing doesn’t make you small, it means that you care enough.
  • You can never truly love someone, by changing them. So stop thinking that way.
  • Plan holidays where the two of you can have exclusive time for each other, this helps in strong bonding, which is essential in marriage.
  • Rekindle your love time and again.

Never leave a true relation for few small faults.
Nobody is perfect,nobody is correct… and Remember affection is always greater than perfection…”

 

 

WAKEUP TO THE NEW YOU

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There are never ending complaint, about activities of which we are not part of, things we can’t get, love lost, unsatisfactory job, not so ideal home, and the list goes on.

Take charge of yourself, realize who you are and what you meant to do. Everything begins from you in the first place, be it anything, home, job, relationships, YOUR LIFE.

So why all these complaints?

If you are sluggish or feeling too low to move, having depressive outlook. BETTER START being active, take first step, head towards feeling fresh, have a make over, which boost your self esteem a lot. BELIEVE ME IT WILL DO WONDERS TO LIFT UP YOUR SPIRIT.

Deal with things, one at a time. Anything which is more troublesome should be dealt first. If you are not satisfied with your job, start looking for something which you wish to do since a long time. Staying in place, with low Job Satisfaction, affects productivity level and again is reflected in your attitude and general outlook of life. Follow your passion, anything you enjoy doing, painting, photography, having your own business. In short follow your dreams.

Healthy relationship, are important to keeping yourselves intact, having varied emotions and understanding how we react to situations which are demanding. Try to develop a good circle of friends, who are happy go lucky, who face adversity with a challenge, and have a positive outlook of life. These people boost your positive energy, and you have more better outlook to deal with hand on problems.

  •  Take things easy, never rush your decisions, think out a couple of times, analyzing the situation and then making a decision.
  •  Ego is the worst thing that you can do to yourself. No one has ever benefited from it. Let go of ego, and embrace the things with open heart.
  •  Challenge yourself, as it forces you to move, groom you to attempt in a better way.
  • Adapt to the changes in your life. It makes life easier.
  •  Come out from your comfort zone, nothing can be achieved just by sitting and relaxing. Best things in are achieved through struggle and hard work.
  •  Learn from your mistakes, experiences are the best teachers, leading you to a better path. Depending whether you are ready to learn or not.
  •  Embrace love openly without second thoughts, or being a judgmental.
  •  Wake up feeling energetic, and planing your day, focusing on positive aspects.
  •  Engage in activities that makes you happy.
  •  Exercise it is the energy booster.

Practice these things, and you will notice the changes in yourself.

GIVE GOOD AND GOOD WILL COME TO YOU.

Think about these:

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YOU ARE MINE

As sleep wait for me to close my eyes,
I think of you, as a passing dream,
Would never let go, of the magic that beholds me,
For years to come, you will still be mine,
Yet again, with a pang of hurt, and something missing,
I could not stop the rolling drop going down my cheek,
I think of you, i think of you…..

PNK.