My article POSITIVE PARENTING in Psych Magazine U.A.E. Click on the link to read the article.
My article POSITIVE PARENTING in Psych Magazine U.A.E. Click on the link to read the article.
Are you in a hurry to get something done? Are you in a rush to complete your assignment? Are you being impatient with someone, not capable enough in your group? Are you losing your patience because you are not getting the required results?
Patience is an important Life Skill. Patience is the ability to tolerate waiting, delay or frustrations without getting upset or agitated. It is the ability to control your emotions or impulses and proceed calmly when faced with difficulties. Patience leads to emotional freedom which is a lifelong practice. In order to shape your talents and abilities you must deal with patience with yourself and with others. Keep on making the efforts until you master.
“It is not necessary for all men to be great in action. The greatest and sublimest power is often simple patience.” – Horace Bushnell.
Patience helps us in seeing the problem in a positive light, which we were unable to see when we were frustrated. Reframing the situation and the matter at hand can be viewed in a positive light only when we deal with it patiently.
Relax when you are engulfed with situations that seem too bleak to be resolved. When you have control over your emotions you are in a better position to see the situation and to deal with it in an effective manner. You avoid making hasty decisions. As at that time you know how to approach a problem and how to overcome the obstacles.
“One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life” (Chinese Proverb).
While thinking what to write for my upcoming Counselling Newsletter for my school students, RESPONSIBILITY popped in my mind. And I thought that really this is missing these days in students, who are more carefree and tend to blame others. So here is what I wrote, enjoy reading.
Responsibility is basic to learning environment. Students who are well disciplined take responsibility for their own actions, behaviors and academics. They behave well, do better in academics, as they are self-motivated, and self-directed, having set goals that they have to achieve. Such students don’t make excuses for not completing their work, preparing for tests, and they don’t blame others for their own mistakes. Analyze your actions:
• Do you realize how precious time is for your academics? And you are not wasting it!
• You have set goals & are working towards achieving them.
• You have a study plan and keep track of your assignments.
• You do not wait for the last moment to start the preparation for tests.
• You follow teacher’s instruction.
• You are fair in your dealings and do not blame others for your follies. You know that you are responsible for your actions.
• You have faith in your abilities, and don’t become defensive when you make a mistake.
If all answers are in affirmative,
We are proud of you. You are really responsible!
“Peak performance begins with your taking complete responsibility for your life and everything that happens to you.”- Brian Tracy.
People who need inspiration in life, expect to know the truth, and people who deserve motivation in life needs the same. Nothing can be as bonding in a relationship as truth. Lie breaks relationship, leading to heart ache and pain.
It is important to know and to find out how one’s spouse think, what his/her motivations are, life goals and inspirations are? Knowing the nature of your spouse you can automatically switch into that mode when difficult or distressing time comes. BUT it is shocking, emotionally disturbing to find out that the other person is secretive, and might be a compulsive liar.
Time and again we all do need a break, a distance, a space where we can be in touch to our inner self, keeping things to ourselves sometimes to work them out, or perhaps we do not want to hurt our partners feelings and emotions. But that doesn’t mean that one turn into a person where no one can reach him/her. Hiding things, being secretive or lying every now and then.
The basis on a true, loving and long lasting relationship is in openness, truth, sharing one’s thoughts and ideas. Sometimes what is right and true for us is not the same for another person. You need to find out the underlying cause of things, without being judgmental, without passing remarks. And the key to every relations is communication (that’s what I believe in).
It would indeed be difficult to trust a person who misused it earlier. But never break a relationship on it, rather try to develop a healthy bonding with the partner. Give the person enough love, so that he/she can open up to you, share his/her fears, tell the things that went wrong.
Openness helps build a sound relationship, where you set plans for future, share ideas, your private thoughts, knowing that you will not be judged or criticized, rather will be heard. Fulfilling each others emotional need which is boosted by honesty, love, openness which in turn are the core for a good relationship.
Relationships are very important part of our lives, do take care before you hurt someone by your lying habit.
The things that happened in the past, may it some emotional trauma, physical abuse, being hurt by someone deeply, some profound loss caused by someone, treated badly, a terrible heartache, which lead you to depression, left you broken, emotionally drained, low self esteem, loss of faith in people, feeling of physical and emotional stress, and lead you to have suicidal thoughts.
As these things happen, we ask ourselves, are we really ready to let go of the hurt, the emotional trauma we have being through.even if we come to terms of what happened to us is just over and we look ahead to life, we are still nagged by that traumatizing event in our life.
So, do you think it really is over? Have you really let go of the past?
I guess not. That is why you are visited by the demons of your past, which makes you unhappy now, sad now, and you weep when the thought crosses your mind. It is still haunting you and snatching away the happiness that you can have now in the present, and may be you are still having a strained relationship with that person, or perhaps it is distracting you from your work at hand, snatching away the chance to live your life to the fullest.
Oscar Wilde said, “Always forgive your enemies — nothing annoys them so much.”
Forgiving someone means that you understand your anger towards them, understand what it had cost you, and you analyze what further it will cost you in future too, and how it is affecting your present. You acknowledge how it has made you the hostage and how it is manipulating your emotions, your chance to be happy now in the present.
the only thing we feel satisfied and relaxed in is showing anger towards that person, or hatred towards people who brought the miseries in your life. That is the only defense mechanism we work with, and don’t see how we can easily come out of it, if we tried some other things, some other way of handling that past event.
As, it is in our own hands to be happy, and our happiness depends on us. Continuing with some resentment makes us more depressive.
Its about time that the hurt is let go of. To live again, to be happy again.
Letting go, doesn’t mean that you are not strong enough to stand and continue on fighting. It means that you are strong enough, and are wiser, to let go of past which not significant in your present and in your future. You think of the reasons behind the person who hurt you, whys, and whats. Screen out and understand why it all happened, empathize.
Understand that you are through with it, and you are ready to let go of hurt it caused you, the heartache you have being through, and are choosing something more significant in your life, the PRESENT, HAPPINESS.
Let the doors open for happiness to come in, for trust to be built again, for love to come and embrace you.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi.
I firmly believe in this quote:
As we age, we all as human beings, learn things through our own experiences, and shared experiences. As we know that no one is perfect, and we make mistakes, only to learn from them, and try not to commit the same mistake again. No one can say that, they didn’t make mistake in their life, it is just part of growing up, getting more mature and experienced.
As we grow up we become aware that, our actions have consequences for which we are accountable to ourselves. We become a little wiser, and start analyzing life and its happening more alertly, become more conscious of our decision making process. We try to chose things that are in accordance to our nature, and we tend to take risks too, knowing how much we can push ourselves, or how strong we are to face adversity.
Each mistake that we make, give us a new lesson, a new way of thinking and approaching ideas, and decisions in our life. We keep on struggling to find a path to our destiny, by trial and error process, approaching ideas and ways each time in a different manner, one that suits our need and fulfills our desire. Learning motivates us to be more resilient, inculcates a deeper understanding of the life we are living.
All of you must be knowing this saying:
“TIME TEACHES ALL”.
Stop for a moment and relax, breath in and out with ease, and take your time in doing so. Now think what you learned in life, all the time that you spent, going to school, college, having relationships friends, your work.
Start your learning, and exploring yourself:
“There are no such things as limits to growth, because there are no limits to the human capacity for intelligence, imagination, and wonder.” Ronald Reagan.
Every relationship begins with excitement, joy, and long time life commitments are made by both partners. Building up a healthy understanding is crucial in the beginning, which lays a foundation stone for years to come. Give time to each other exclusively without any other commitments, try to understand the nature of the partner, grew close in a loving relationship.
Once the relationship is established after a sometime, it seems a drag. We all know a few bumps and down the hill factors come in ones marriages, that is the normal thing, and nothing to be depressive about.
The main things is to recognize them at the right time, and deal with it without taking sides, in a rational and practical manner. It is the couples responsibility to understand the problems, which they are having, and try to sit together and sort them out in a positive manner, keeping in view the marriage, and how they want to make it successful.
While living together, we get to know, how the other person works in different situations, what make the other partner ticks, what are the things that the partner likes and what he/she dislikes, what is the nature of the other person. This helps a lot in approaching the issue, and resolving it in a sensible manner.
Most of the problems arise from poor communication, where the partners have lack of communication and are unable to express their feelings, or are unable to share things. This doesn’t happen in one day, it starts and is noticed later on. It is important for both the partners to identify this issue early, and should never close channels of communication, expressing ones feelings, emotions and thoughts.
If are having a strained relationship, give it time, put in more efforts to make each other happy, be around at time of need, show your love, and concern, don’t let your partner be in a withdrawn state.
Never leave a true relation for few small faults.
Nobody is perfect,nobody is correct… and Remember affection is always greater than perfection…”
There are never ending complaint, about activities of which we are not part of, things we can’t get, love lost, unsatisfactory job, not so ideal home, and the list goes on.
Take charge of yourself, realize who you are and what you meant to do. Everything begins from you in the first place, be it anything, home, job, relationships, YOUR LIFE.
So why all these complaints?
If you are sluggish or feeling too low to move, having depressive outlook. BETTER START being active, take first step, head towards feeling fresh, have a make over, which boost your self esteem a lot. BELIEVE ME IT WILL DO WONDERS TO LIFT UP YOUR SPIRIT.
Deal with things, one at a time. Anything which is more troublesome should be dealt first. If you are not satisfied with your job, start looking for something which you wish to do since a long time. Staying in place, with low Job Satisfaction, affects productivity level and again is reflected in your attitude and general outlook of life. Follow your passion, anything you enjoy doing, painting, photography, having your own business. In short follow your dreams.
Healthy relationship, are important to keeping yourselves intact, having varied emotions and understanding how we react to situations which are demanding. Try to develop a good circle of friends, who are happy go lucky, who face adversity with a challenge, and have a positive outlook of life. These people boost your positive energy, and you have more better outlook to deal with hand on problems.
Practice these things, and you will notice the changes in yourself.
GIVE GOOD AND GOOD WILL COME TO YOU.
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