CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Conflict is a natural, vital part of life. When conflict is understood, it can become an opportunity to learn and create. The challenge for people in conflict is to apply the principles of creative cooperation in their human relationships. (Richard Bodine, Donna Crawford, and Fred Schrumpf. Creating the Peaceable School: A Comprehensive Program for Teaching conflict Resolution).

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Conflict management and its resolution is a skill to work effectively in academics, work or social setting, so as to succeed as an independent individual. Conflict Management skill develops early in life, where a child develops the ability to read the non-verbal cues like, facial expressions, body language, tone of voice etc. that are part of socializing.

 

 

In order to manage conflict begin by:

  • Accepting the conflict. It will play an important role in managing conflict. Remember, conflict occurs in everyday life and it provides the opportunity to grow, understand and enhance communication skills.
  • Whether you are a sounding board to your friend or you are dealing with your own conflicts, remember that your response or the way you deal with a conflicting situation might escalate the intensity or decrease the intensity of the problem at hand. Be calm as it provides an opportunity to be neutral and helps in thinking clearly the action plan to resolve the problem.
  • Get to know or analyze the reasons behind the conflict, why it made you angry, what you are afraid of losing, who are you angry with etc.
  • Be specific about the problem or the conflict and only devise ways to resolve it, without being judgmental.
  • Work together, without blaming each other or self for the problem.
  • Communicate effectively, which includes the behavior to listen, and speak about facts and feelings. Expressing your concerns without being aggressive, and exercising self-control in order to avoid emotional out-bursts.

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SELF

Things will come in life to pull you down, to drag you, to make you feel unworthy, to make you small. BUT remember you have all the power that you need to stand again, and fight, to know that you are powerful and these obstacles wont pose problems for a long time. Try finding in you, the strength to withstand the hardest of battles…….. PARISA KHAN

SELF ACCEPTANCE

We keep on finding the purpose behind our actions, thinking up of things that could have worked, if we have chosen some other path, hate ourselves for not changing the present circumstances, keep on the look out to be happy and contended. But wait, what we miss is the acceptance of ourselves  the acceptance of the present, acceptance that we are responsible for our choices and actions, and acceptance that only we are the door keeper to lead happiness in our life and no one else. 

The true meaning of life is found through acceptance of self.

Get a grip of things that happen in your life, become more conscious while making decisions  and believe what ever you do, you do it yourself and no one else is there to take the blame of your unhappiness.

If we keep on looking for things that are not in our life, and keep on wishing and punishing ourselves for it, it make us feel more miserable. Same goes for accepting what others say about us. Unhappiness comes in, when we start living to others expectations, We start doing things, which others approve of, and start living the way it is acceptable by others. It is simple, either you live by the acceptance of others and signup a contract to be unhappy, or take charge of yourself and develop self acceptance.

Learn to accept your situation, your destiny, your current status, and then go and try to make it different by your own effort. Most importantly, accept yourself just the way you are, your strengths and weaknesses, your highs and lows, your moods, your body image, acceptance of how mush you love your self, acceptance of how you work under pressure, acceptance of how much crap you can take from other people, acceptance of your goals, and acceptance of how much you can make out of this precious life which is given to you. 

Self acceptance  is the first to make you shine, to realize your goals, to attain all the things which you want, and plays an important role in making you happy. When you learn to accept yourself, only then you can accept others and appreciate them whole heatedly.

No amount of meditation, or spiritual connections will help you, if self acceptance  is not present.  Start cultivating acceptance, and see the differences it makes in your life. 

  • Learn to let go of things that are not meant for you, instead of trying to change things which are not in your power to change.
  • Know what your strengths and weakness are, and what things you love doing, only then you can choose a better and favorable path to your goals. 
  • Accept the people and situations, the way they are, it will be easier for you to deal with them accordingly.
  • Pinpoint which things make you happy, and which things pushes you to your nerves end. 
  • Know how imperfect you are, this will help you in accepting other people with their imperfections.
  • Accept the consequences of your actions, whether good or bad, it will guide you next time when you are making a decision. 
  • Be kind to yourself, and don’t judge yourself for things you did that went wrong.
  •  Stop searching for acceptance of yourself, from other people. 
  • Accept your body, and learn to love your soul. Try to be healthy and active.
  • Confront yourself for your failings, understand the reasons behind it, and move on with a positive thought of changing it.