SPREADING HAPPINESS

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I believe in this saying.

I think when you share people’s problem, listen to them with open heart, give a shoulder to cry on and supporting them in whatever you can, you make them happy and ultimately it bring HAPPINESS to you.

HAPPINESS doesn’t mean that you have account full of money, a luxurious home to live in, perfect kids, perfect spouse and a dream job.

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NO!!!!

HAPPINESS is spreading HAPPINESS.

Content with what you have, no matter how little it is. And still you care for others you help them out in their lives and still keep on moving with yours. THAT IS REAL HAPPINESS.

Carrying out small ACTS OF KINDNESS and SMILING at people to show them love and care makes your day. IT WORKS FOR ME.

I am alhumdulilah what I always wanted to be, and each day I try to achieve whatever is there in my capacity no matter how big or small it is, to spread happiness, to make people feel loved, and cared for.

It brings back immense HAPPINESS when people say that thank you you made my day, thank you for listening it means a lot, thank you for guiding we will try it out, thank you for just being there. I feel so blessed and I thank ALMIGHTY ALLAH for choosing me to do something for humanity, though its not much.

It gives me solitude, brings peace to me.

We just need a good smile in morning to make us feel better, a pat on the back that we are not alone, a compassionate hand to know that we are not walking alone, a good greet to realize that we can make it.

Every small gesture counts, a small act means a lot, it will become a habit, a behavior and will impact the society and community where people give a helping hand to each other in order to spread HAPPINESS.

START BY:

  •  Saying a Happy HI!
  • Greet people GOOD MORNING even when you don’t know them.
  • Be a listening ear.
  • Thank people even for smallest gestures.
  • Give gifts.
  • Be a helping hand.
  • Support your community.
  • Be POSITIVE.
  • Inspire others by your smile.
  • Help out people who are in need.
  • Reach out to those who work for you.
  • Be understanding of others view, and don’t be judgmental.
  • Be some ones SUNSHINE.
  • Be a SILVER LINING in some ones cloud.
  • Be a LIGHT for some one in need.

So, don’t wait for HAPPINESS to come to you.

START SPREADING HAPPINESS AROUND YOU WHEREVER YOU ALL ARE, IT WILL ULTIMATELY COME BACK TO YOU AND YOU WILL FEEL IMMENSE PEACE.

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ARE YOU HAVING A LOW OPINION OF YOURSELF?

 “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. Eleanor Roosevelt.

 

Independent of your successes, failures or the opinion of others, the way you appreciate, value, accept yourselves is SELF-WORTH. Self-worth means that you have a favorable opinion of yourself and that you believe that you have a right to feel positive of yourself. And for doing so your actions, thoughts and beliefs are the milestones.

 

If you are experiencing or going through:

 

□       Low feeling.

□       Depression.

□       Mood swings.

□       Feeling bad about being judged by others.

□       Not able to control/handle situations.

□       Dissatisfied with self or life.

□       Feeling of helplessness.

□       Unable to maintain social life.

 

It means that you are having low self- worth and you need to take actions to improve it.

 

If you are having low self-worth, you certainly can change your current state.

 

  •   Only you are responsible for your success.
  •   It’s okay to make mistakes.
  •   Only you have control on your future.
  •  Positive thinking leads to positive actions.

 

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Give meaning to your life and live a happy life.

THINKING NEGATIVELY

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We do face the problem of negative thinking. It might be due to any incident or event that has occurred and we find ourselves in the midst of negative thinking pattern. Sometimes it is so over-powering that it controls every aspect of our lives.

Personal beliefs, our principles and morals are the basis of our thoughts. Our low mood triggers negative thoughts and forms a chain reaction if we are unable to identify and stop it.

Become aware of your thought processes, simply acknowledging that they exist, helps in managing the negative thoughts. Our thoughts are automatic and fast, they keep on popping up and bombarding us, more so when they are negative.
 Thoughts that are more stressful or depressing should be dealt with first. Think about it, as they are the root cause of your negativity. When our beliefs are not matched with the outside world the distress creeps in. Identify the cause behind stress, despair and depression.
 Negative thoughts lead to negative outcomes. If you are depressed you will be thinking of negative outcomes, like failure in exams, unable to submit assignments on time, inability to concentrate, hopelessness etc. In order to break free of this destructive negative thinking pattern, become aware how they work and on what bases.
 Beliefs and values should be your main focus, as to see from where negative thinking is generating. Try to get control of things and situations before they become over whelming.
 Be optimistic, as it plays a key role in addressing negative thinking. The optimistic person accepts the facts and searches for solutions, while a pessimist attributes the factors that are not even in the situation, thus making the problem bigger than it was in reality.
 Focus on positive emotions and feelings, and replace the old thoughts by it. Think creatively and positively of the solutions, set achievable goals, and move away from negative triggers in the environment. Manage your negative emotions and feelings, this takes time, and your stress or depression will not simply vanish after it. But you will learn how to be a positive thinker.

If you continue to be negative, you will be attracting more negativity in life.
Let go of it and surround yourself with positive thoughts, you will be much happier.

LETTING GO OF HURT

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The things that happened in the past, may it some emotional trauma, physical abuse, being hurt by someone deeply, some profound loss caused by someone, treated badly, a terrible heartache, which lead you to depression, left you broken, emotionally drained, low self esteem, loss of faith in people, feeling of physical and emotional stress, and lead you to have suicidal thoughts.

As these things happen, we ask ourselves, are we really ready to let go of the hurt, the emotional trauma we have being through.even if we come to terms of what happened to us is just over and we look ahead to life, we are still nagged by that traumatizing event in our life.

So, do you think it really is over? Have you really let go of the past?

I guess not. That is why you are visited by the demons of your past, which makes you unhappy now, sad now, and you weep when the thought crosses your mind. It is still haunting you and snatching away the happiness that you can have now in the present, and may be you are still having a strained relationship with that person, or perhaps it is distracting you from your work at hand, snatching away the chance to live your life to the fullest.

Oscar Wilde said, “Always forgive your enemies — nothing annoys them so much.”

Forgiving someone means that you understand your anger towards them, understand what it had cost you, and you analyze what further it will cost you in future too, and how it is affecting your present. You acknowledge how it has made you the hostage  and how it is manipulating your emotions, your chance to be happy now in the present.

the only thing we feel satisfied and relaxed in is showing anger towards that person, or hatred towards people who brought the miseries in your life. That is the only defense mechanism we work with, and don’t see how we can easily come out of it, if we tried some other things, some other way of handling that past event.

As, it is in our own hands to be happy, and our happiness depends on us. Continuing with some resentment makes us more depressive.

Its about time that the hurt is let go of. To live again, to be happy again.

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Letting go, doesn’t mean that you are not strong enough to stand and continue on fighting. It means that you are strong enough, and are wiser, to let go of past which not significant in your present and in your future. You think of the reasons behind the person who hurt you, whys, and whats. Screen out and understand why it all happened, empathize.

Understand that you are through with it, and you are ready to let go of hurt it caused you, the heartache you have being through, and are choosing something more significant in your life, the PRESENT, HAPPINESS.

Let the doors open for happiness to come in, for trust to be built again, for love to come and embrace you. 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi.

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I firmly believe in this quote:

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CONSCIOUS PARENT

Conscious parenting means to engage actively and consciously in all the aspects of parenting. Conscious parenting involves the “being” aspects of life unlike the “doing” aspects. It emphasis growth, truth and presence, and is an ongoing journey with lots of commitment.

Conscious parenting is not the traditional way of parenting, conscious parenting is a more engaging way of connecting with your child, acceptance, understanding, building confidence, thus developing a positive experience. Freedom for expressing ones feeling, providing empathy, guiding through examples, self-regulatory behavior, and developing a bond of parent child relationship.

Parenting is a difficult task, when we ourselves are snowed with lots of work, whether its our work or other tasks at hand. Parenting in itself is an art, a way of learning for ourselves, and certainly cannot be learned through books. The way everyone is different, in the same manner are the children, each having their own demands, their own nature.

It is typical of parents to punish the child for behaviors that are not accordance to them, without noticing and becoming conscious that this will reinforce the wrong behavior, and it strongly emphasizes conditional love. As a parent we must understand that disciplining cannot be done by putting conditions. We often put conditions, give threats for undesirable behavior, give punishments. Parents must learn and practice not to issue threats and the likes, rather raise independent, self-motivated children, those who are not driven by threats and punishments rather raised with conscious love, understanding, and caring. Knowing what their limits are and have an in-depth knowledge of their own personalities, understanding the reasons behind their own emotions, and of their child. Conscious parents do not focus on the problems, they try to find out the causes or reasons of certain behavior, and resolve them, without been judgmental.

While parenting, it is important that both the parents are on the same page of parenting. If the parents have different views of parenting a child, it creates conflict, and the child become confuse, as to what he/she should follow or listen too, or for that matter behave. The parents must discuss their ideas of parenting, how to approach a certain problem at hand, how to resolve a conflict, what approaches they think are conscious and reflects in the child.

Demanding some behavior from your child, without exercising it yourself is unjust. Parents are the role model, if you want your child to be disciplined, loving  understanding, helpful, independent, you certainly have to exercise everything yourself, as children are our mirror. children follow more the unspeakable language and learn more from it, than words that are said. Meaning of the actions and the way you express yourself speaks volume, and the child learn all of these without you consciously telling them. It is always wise to take a moment to think and analyze your anger, which is directed to your child, and you will surely calm yourself, when you try to understand the underlying cause of it. 

I am listing few websites that I came across, and would like to share here:

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RELATIONSHIPS ARE PRECIOUS

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Every relationship begins with excitement, joy, and long time life commitments are made by both partners. Building up a healthy understanding is crucial in the beginning, which lays a foundation stone for years to come. Give time to each other exclusively  without any other commitments, try to understand the nature of the partner, grew close in a loving relationship.

Once the relationship is established  after a sometime, it seems a drag. We all know a few bumps and down the hill factors come in ones marriages, that is the normal thing, and nothing to be depressive about.

The main things is to recognize them at the right time, and deal with it without taking sides, in a rational and practical manner. It is the couples responsibility to understand the problems, which they are having, and try to sit together and sort them out in a positive manner, keeping in view the marriage, and how they want to make it successful.

While living together, we get to know, how the other person works in different situations, what make the other partner ticks, what are the things that the partner likes and what he/she dislikes, what is the nature of the other person. This helps a lot in approaching the issue, and resolving it in a sensible manner.

Most of the problems arise from poor communication, where the partners have lack of communication and are unable to express their feelings, or are unable to share things. This doesn’t happen in one day, it starts and is noticed later on. It is important for both the partners to identify this issue early, and should never close channels of communication, expressing ones feelings, emotions and thoughts. 

If are having a strained relationship, give it time, put in more efforts to make each other happy, be around at time of need, show your love, and concern, don’t let your partner be in a withdrawn state.

Start by:

  • Understand to which background and lifestyle your partner belongs to, it will make things easier for you to handle and understand. Everyone is different in showing emotions and reacting to things, some are over joyous  have more descriptive ability, some show more love and demand it in return to, while some are overly angry sort.
  • Don’t push your presence on the other person. Everyone has their own personal space, and like to exercise it to. Giving someone space doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t love you, rather it is a more mature way of living.
  • Don’t force your likes and dislikes on your partner. If you are doing that, it will definitely crush their happiness. As no one is same, than how can the likes and dislikes for things can be similar. Let the partner have freedom of expression  and never try to force your thinking on him/her.
  • It is reminded to us from time and again, not to have expectations. It is true too in marriage as well. Cut down on expectations as they really, if they are not met. 
  • Everyone has their own point of view, so why not you 2 have as well. Accepting others view is important. Try to find out what your partner means by a certain thing he/she said. What was the reason behind that thinking, it will make it easier for you to understand that view point. There is no point in fighting over a thinking pattern either of you have. Even if you do not agree what other have said, just accept it or provide a rational statement, and avoid having an argument.
  • Stop relying on technology to express your feelings. I certainly not believe on Telephone conversation, as you never know what mood the other person is in. Rather set up a time to relax and sharing. Take time out from your responsibilities and spend quality time with each other, which is uninterrupted by phones, TV, or other such techno stuff. 
  • Sometimes it is advisable to be just quiet and make your partner feel relax too. if you are having an argument and knows no matter what you say, your partner will not listen, give in, and stay calm. It doesn’t mean that yo are wrong, it means you are responsible enough to make your relationship work and love your partner.
  • Don’t assume that your partner will judge our mood and your thinking, and will act accordingly. Speaking up and expressing yourself puts your emotions in a better light, rather than staying in a  MUM state. 
  • Spend sometime alone, in relaxing and going out, doing things that you like, it freshens you up, which is very positive.
  • Develop trust in your partner, and trusting your partner as well. Never leave any room for doubt.
  • If you are having doubts, speak up and let your partner know, sort hem out in a relaxed manner.
  • Don’t be criticizing all  the time, whether its your husband or your wife. No one is perfect, understand the persons strengths and weaknesses and accept them.
  • Apologizing doesn’t make you small, it means that you care enough.
  • You can never truly love someone, by changing them. So stop thinking that way.
  • Plan holidays where the two of you can have exclusive time for each other, this helps in strong bonding, which is essential in marriage.
  • Rekindle your love time and again.

Never leave a true relation for few small faults.
Nobody is perfect,nobody is correct… and Remember affection is always greater than perfection…”